Keeping Secrets (Book I)✔️

Chapter Twenty-Two

Florence:

Monday morning came quicker than I thought and when my alarm went off early this morning, all I wanted to do was hide under the warmth of my covers and never come back out. I was embarrassed my what I had done during the weekend and the thought of facing Eric and my friends in school was literally killing me.

I had another sleepless night last night and my appearance hadn't changed much from the way it was last week: I was still pale, I still had some blemishes sprinkled over my face and I now had even bigger dark circles under my eyes. I dragged my feet as I walked to my locker, avoiding anyone's eyes and looking at the ground.

My classes all seemed like a blur up until lunch. I couldn't pay attention, I could barely listen and my attempts at doing the work were futile. I sighed as I entered the cafeteria for lunch and found my friends sitting down at a table near the corner of the room. I sat down and said nothing, everyone went quiet and looked at me. I didn't get any lunch, I wasn't in the mood to eat anything right now.

"What?" I asked quietly after I looked up and noticed Kevin, Charlotte and Emma looking at me.

"Nothing." Emma looked away.

"No, not nothing. Florence whatever the hell has got you in this funk I just don't know. But you need to get out of it, you can tell us." He said and I smiled slightly, glad that I had such good friends but I couldn't tell them, not right now.

"Maybe another time." I brushed him off and we all began talking about something else. I was glad to get my mind off of Eric for just a while but my eyes latched onto both him and Chloe who were over the other side of the cafeteria sitting together. I felt horrible and confused. She had her hand on his arm and was laughing at something he said, he smiled but it didn't each his eyes. I turned away quickly in case I was caught.

I was jealous, I knew it. As much as I didn't want to care about Eric, even after everything that has happened, I still did. I couldn't just make my feelings go away. It was hard to except that we had to stop what we were doing, I just couldn't be with him anymore. It was doing no good for me especially at the moment.

I breathed out quietly and closed my eyes for a second. I needed to just stop thinking about him for a while. As much as I tried, my Eric-free thoughts didn't last long, not through lunch, not through art class and not through the entire day. I kept to myself like I had been doing a lot recently and wondered whether I was just being a drama queen or not. Either way I just couldn't help it.

I hadn't actually had a proper conversation with Eric in what felt like a long time but that changed that day after school. I had stayed back a little while longer after my last class had finished, I was behind everyone else and the last person to get to their locker before leaving school. I dragged myself up the hallway and reached my locker.

I was nearly finished switching books around when I heard footsteps and noticed a body standing behind my locker door.

"Hey Flo." It was Eric. I knew his voice and it just so happened to sound very casual and like nothing was wrong. It made me angry, all of my sluggishness had been replaced with rage right now. I slammed my locker shut and looked at him, he looked kind of shocked.

"What exactly do you think I am Eric?" I asked, trying not to grit my teeth. He took a step back, his eyes never leaving my face.

"I-"

"I'm not some string along that you can have whenever you feel like it even though you are close to having a girlfriend. Hooking up with other people and hooking up with me while you're with Chloe is a completely different thing. Do you not feel the slightest bit guilty about what happened the night of the party?" I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I'm not with Chloe, what the hell are you talking about Flo?"

"Oh really?" I said incredulously, I knew I was going to sound like the clingy girl that was just too into a boy who didn't care half as much about her. I was going to seem jealous too, but I just couldn't help it right now. "That's not what she told me, or Mick either."

"Since when would you believe those two over me? If you had a problem with it why not just come to me and ask me?" I knew he was right but that wasn't the only thing I was annoyed about.

"Well I seen you two together too, and you didn't see me." It was beginning to sound like the argument we had at Evan's party a while back except this time he didn't mention jealousy, his face sank at my words and he took a while to finally speak.

"Flo-"

"Don't call me that." He looked hurt by my demand but continued.

"Florence." He said, "What I done was a mistake, you have to hear me out here."

"I don't have to do anything, you can do what you like Eric. We're not together, remember?"

"But-but I'm still sorry, I can explain what happened."

"I don't want you to explain, I don't want to hear it. What you did is something you may or may not have been doing this whole time, I knew that from the very start and that's why I've realized how stupid I was for agreeing to all of this. I can't do it anymore, because it was different in the start. It was like out of sight, out of mind but when I saw you two together, I didn't know what to do." I brushed my fingers through my hair and avoided eye contact with him. "I just can't do it, I can't do this anymore."

"No. No, you don't mean that." He sounded panicked now. His reaction was something I hadn't expected. I hadn't really thought about his reaction actually but I just thought he couldn't care less.

"I do." I nodded weakly and met his eyes this time. I pained me to say it but it needed to be said.

"But- But no, please. I made a mistake Florence. Can we talk about it please?" I had already because walking off but he tried to stop me.

"I'm done talking about it. I know it's unfair of me to just spring all of this, how I feel about everything on you now, and I'm sorry for that. I should have spoken sooner but I just couldn't. I can't keep hooking up with you, I can't be with someone who doesn't want to be with just me. I was cool with it at the start but I'm not anymore. I'm sorry." Everything I said was the truth, he had stopped and let me talk but didn't move when I began walking off again, making my way to the front doors of the school.

Eric didn't follow me, or say another word as I left. A part of me was glad while another wished he would run after me and we could make things better again. I stopped hopping as stopped hoping as soon as I shut my car door and drove off. This was for the best.

**********

Hiya! Sorry for the wait, please vote/comment/tell your friends:) This chapter is dedicated to k_kkristin, everyone should go check out her story "The Missing Part", it's amazing!

A. Summers xo