When Love Fades

Chapter 11 - Divergence I

Naruto woke up, the ache in his head and his body reminding him forcibly of the night before. He wasn't sure what time it was, but by the amount of light streaming in through the bedroom window, it had to be mid-morning. The silence in the apartment told him he was alone.

He wasn't surprised. Of course, Sasuke would have had to go to work on a Tuesday.

Naruto closed his eyes, not wanting to face the reality of what he was feeling. In the first year of college, before he and Sasuke had started dating, Naruto hadn't been a stranger to the party scene. He hadn't gone crazy or anything, but he'd definitely woken up in beds that weren't his own a few times.

It shook him to realize that he felt exactly the same as he lay in the bed he'd shared with Sasuke. Last night they'd had amazing sex.

But that was all it had been.

He hadn't felt the connection that he'd always felt with Sasuke in the past. The thing that made Naruto's mind and body focused only on his boyfriend, like nothing else mattered. Whether it was over-the-top anger or over-the-top love, emotion had always ruled their interactions, especially in bed. Ever since their very first time together, it had been as though Sasuke had erased all of Naruto's past lovers from his mind. From that point on, it had only been Sasuke for him. Naruto hadn't been able to imagine ever wanting anyone else.

Until last night.

Guilt assailed him at the memory of the attraction he had felt for the other man at the club. And when Sasuke had shown up... Naruto had simply directed that lust towards the one he could have.

He had basically used Sasuke for sex. Naruto might have been drunk, but it didn't make it any less true. The only thing that kept him from feeling even worse about it was that he was pretty sure Sasuke had used him right back.

Although... maybe that didn't make him feel better after all. Had Sasuke responded because Naruto had been so aggressive? Or had Sasuke responded only because he had seen someone else hitting on Naruto?

Naruto breathed out a humorless laugh. It was all so fucked up.

He slid his hand down over his stomach, slightly surprised to feel it smooth and clean. Evidently Sasuke had cleaned them both up after they'd had sex the night before. Naruto closed his eyes, a small smile forcing its way to the surface at the unexpected thoughtfulness. It had been a while since Sasuke had bothered with doing something like that.

The memories that the thought resurrected made Naruto ache.

Things used to be so different between them. Back when they used to be friends as well as lovers. Back when they used to talk instead of argue or just ignore each other.

Well, they had always argued. Naruto gave a crooked grin. It was something they both had enjoyed. The verbal sparring. The brutal honesty. Naruto was never willing to kiss Sasuke's ass no matter how many other people did, and Sasuke would never stoop to lying about something to make it look better than what it was. It was part of what had brought them together, strangely enough. It was what made them able to trust each other, when neither boy trusted very easily.

They used to talk about things that they'd never talked about with anyone else. Things in their past. Hopes and fears about their future. But all of that had gone, now. They barely talked anymore, and when they did it was only about bills to be paid or work to be done. Last night they had talked a little about Naruto's job offer and Sasuke had seemed generally happy for him but... not really all that interested.

And that was the crux of it, right there.

Naruto could yell at Sasuke for not spending time with him, but after months of doing exactly that, he realized that he couldn't make Sasuke be interested enough in Naruto's life to do so.