When Love Fades

Chapter 30 - Neji I

Naruto's back was killing him. He'd been sleeping on Kiba's couch for almost two weeks. Kiba had made some not-so-subtle suggestions that he could buy a real bed and convert Kiba's junk room into the extra bedroom it was designed to have been. Before his trip, Naruto would have taken Kiba up on that offer immediately. Naruto had never liked living alone. His worst childhood memories had either begun or ended when he was alone. Over time, it had become almost a phobia. He felt safer when he was surrounded with friends or even acquaintances. The more the better. He had never really examined why he felt that way, he just brushed it off as that he was 'social' and liked people. But his four months of forced solitude, as stressful as it had been, had made him come to terms with some of his fears.

He was no longer afraid to be alone. At least, not as much. He still liked the company of his friends, but he also had learned that he actually... liked moments to himself, as well. He almost looked forward to the evenings when Kiba had to work kennel duty and would come home late. He also recognized that it was something that he needed to get better at. Maybe Sasuke was right and Naruto had been needing too much from him. Maybe 'normal' people didn't need as much attention as Naruto did. He didn't know if he could really be as aloof and independent as someone like Sasuke, but he wanted to at least try to find some middle ground.

Naruto clicked through the online listings. He had saved them into two sets. The first were listings for a roommate in someone else's apartment, the second were apartments where he would be living on his own. Naruto looked at the list of single apartments. Maybe he was finally ready for this. He was an adult now. He was able to take care of himself and the things that had happened to him as a child would never happen to him again. He was more than capable of handling himself in a fight. He was able to buy and cook food for himself if he was hungry. He had found out that he could be alone and still be alright.

His stomach twisted as he recognized one of addresses on his list. It was in the same apartment building as the one he had lived in with Sasuke. He deleted that one immediately. Aside from the fact that it was too expensive, he knew that he couldn't handle living in the same building as Sasuke now that they were split. He would be constantly looking for him, constantly wondering if Sasuke was alone at night or with someone else. It would make him crazy and possibly turn him into a stalker, neither of which seemed like a good idea.

Naruto spent the next few days viewing the remaining apartments on his list. There was one that he liked and the rent was manageable, but there was no parking anywhere nearby for his car. Since a lot of his work wasn't in the city, relying solely on mass transit wasn't going to work. The second-to-last apartment on his list ended up being perfect. They had parking for a reasonable fee and it was in a good location. If he really ended up hating living alone, it would be no problem to sublet it and move back in with Kiba.

Naruto walked out of the apartment building, ready to head to the last address on his list. He was jostled as a group of people came out the door from the building next door. He stepped aside, glancing up to see what the place was.

He stilled.

It was one of the restaurants that had made so many appearances in Sasuke's stack of work receipts. Sasuke ate dinner here at least once a week. He was glad it wasn't the restaurant where Naruto had seen Sasuke with Neji. That was not a place he ever wanted to visit again. Naruto glanced inside but it was three o'clock in the afternoon, so the place was mostly empty. Of course Sasuke wasn't going to be there. Naruto stood in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling hot and cold race through him in waves. If he lived here, in this building, he would probably run into Sasuke at some point. Maybe later when they... when they were ready to talk.

It was stupid. Naruto knew it was stupid. He should absolutely cross this apartment building off his list the same way that he had crossed out living in Sasuke's current apartment building. He sighed as he walked to his car. He was going to go check out the last place.