The color blue <3 (Sanegiyuu)

The color blue<3 pt.8

Giyuu's POV:
As I walk out of Sanemi's room I kinda stand there for a while. I can't believe me and Sanemi almost kissed. In HIS bedroom. While watching teen fucking titans. I walk out of his door saying bye to Muichiro and Genya. I decided to walk to Kanae and Shinobu's house since the cab is 57 dollars...seriously do they think we have that type of money to spare? I make sure to watch my surroundings since it's pretty dark outside and people be weird sometimes. As I'm walking I hear my phone ring. It startles me a bit since it's quiet and I'm a little jumpy right now. I look to see who's calling me and it's the hospital. I answer it with hesitation. "Hello?" My voice is a little shaky..but excited. Maybe they're gonna tell me Tsutako will be free to go home? "Yes hello, this is....Giyuu Tomioka right?" The call dispatcher says, waiting for my answer before she continues to speak. "Yes that's me. Is this about my sister Tsutako?" I'm still walking while on the phone I can't help but think she's finally getting released from the hospital. "Yes. Um, unfortunately I do have to tell you that...that Tsutako has passed away a few hours back." I stop in my tracks. Did she say "pass away"? Because I think that's what I heard. "I'm sorry what..?" My voice is more shaken than before, and I feel my breath quiver as I wait for her to talk again. "Your sister passed away a few hours back. I'm so sorry for your loss." And with that she hangs up. I feel lost. Like my entire world has shaken. She's dead. My sister is dead. The only family member I have left is dead. And I wasn't there to say goodbye. Just like I wasn't there to say goodbye to Sabito when he suddenly left. Just like I wasn't able to say goodbye to my parents all those years ago.

I couldn't say goodbye then.

And I still couldn't say goodbye now.

I feel my legs give up on me as I fall to the floor. My eyes welling up with tears as I look down on the hard concrete. My sister was seriously gone. She didn't get to spend her last days doing anything she loved. She died alone and that's my fault. If I wasn't so scared to visit her, if I wasn't so scared to see her in a state of constant suffering then maybe. Just maybe I've would've gotten to say goodbye.

I sit on the floor for a while before I decide to walk again. I silently cry to myself as I think of all the good times we had together.

A few minutes...or maybe hours later I decided to continue walking. I get another call. It's from Kanae. I decide not to answer. I don't feel like talking. I don't even really feel like walking to Kanae's house. But I have to.

I finally arrive at Kanae's house. I knock on the door and I hear frantic chatter inside the house. Then finally Kanae opens the door. "Giyuu where have you been?! It's almost midnight I was worried sick!" She pulls me into a tight hug like she usually does with Shinobu when she's late. Kanae pulls me out of the hug and then she takes a good look at my face. "Have you been crying? Are you ok?" I hate that question. No I'm not ok. My life is falling apart, and I can't fix it. My life is shit and no matter how hard I try it's gonna stay that way. So no. I'm not "okay." But I'll act like I am. I'll say everything's fine when deep down everything is shit. My life is pure shit and I don't feel happy.

"Giyuu....Giyuu? Hey, why are you crying..?" I didn't realize it but I started to cry like a baby. It's was embarrassing honestly to be cradled by Kanae like I'm 7. But I liked it. I liked having the feeling of someone treat me like this. Because my sister use to do it. And I know now I'll probably never get the feeling again. I speak through my tears as I tell Kanae about my sister. I even end up telling her about the bullying at my school.
"I wish you told me about your situation. I wouldn't mind helping you Giyuu." She pats may back and runs her fingers through my hair in a way of comfort. Eventually I end up falling asleep. It was a long night so I needed it anyway.

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Sanemi's POV:
My mom called us down for dinner. I was kinda disappointed that Giyuu left but I know how Kanae is. Even though she's quiet and super nice she's really protective of people especially her younger sisters. I take a seat at the table sitting across from that little shit Muichiro while Genya sat next to me.
"So what was going on with you and Giyuu?" Genya is trying to provoke me, and I hate that it's working. "My uncle says that kissing another guy is gay. Are you gay?" I look at Muichiro embarrassed. I hate that kid so much. He's so blunt and it seems like he does it on purpose too. "Tell your uncle that i said he can go fuck himself." Muichiro sticks his tongue out at me and I really just want to flip the is fucking table over. I take a bite of my food, it's really good. Then my mom begins to speak. "So how's school going boys?"We all reply this it's going well. I mean there's nothing really to tell her anyways. "Muichiro are you staying over tonight?" My mom takes a worried look on Muichiro. His uncle is kinda fucking stupid and is always forgetting about this dummy, which means WE have to babysit him. "Um......" He looks up thinking about his answer for a few silent moments. "I forgot, sorry." Muichiro is always forgetting things which is really annoying, but I guess that runs in the family. "Muichiro your uncle said you can stay if you want remember?" Genya speaks up finally. He's basically like Muichiro's babysitter, constantly reminding him of things to do, things to remember, things that aren't allowed. I once heard Genya give Muichiro a lecture about how saying someone's baby looks ugly is rude and insulting. In the end Muichiro forgot every word. I don't even know why my brother even waste his time on Muichiro but I guess I don't mind if that means Genya will leave me alone.

"Alright boys start getting ready for bed! Don't stay up too late I don't want you guys to sleep in school." We all take turns getting ready for the night. I watch Muichiro walk into Genya's room before I enter my own. I slip on a T-shirt and some grey shorts, then I place my self on the bed.
I try to sleep but I just keep thinking about what me and Giyuu almost did. We almost kissed. And i just can't help but wonder what would happen if we haven't been interrupted. Would we embrace the kiss? Or would we pull away awkwardly? Jesus I hate thinking about these things. I hate thinking about Giyuu because he keeps me up all night. He keeps me up all night while I'm thinking about these small things that probably don't even matter to him. I'm pretty sure he doesn't even like me. I mean why would he? I bullied him for years without caring. But ever since that little date Tengen payed me to do, I feel like things have changed. I feel like we're getting closer. And I love that. I love that we're getting close because I love him.

I'm finally starting to love the color blue.

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