Addicted to you (W2S)

' Looking out '

(Harry's pov)
I'd been pissed off since the fight at the restaurant. Seeing her in such a state as she begged us to stop killed me. I wanted to stop for her but I couldn't back down and look weak. Yet I think I made things worse for her later on as so many pictures were published of her walking down the street a few hours later.

A bloody nose and mascara all down her face, I recognized the route she was taking to be going to Lacey's flat. We had both discussed how Max had been a little more threatening and verbally abusive but I'd never really seen the reality of it. Clearly he was a little more than verbally bad to her as it didn't look like a fall.

I could feel my blood boiling. If i could I'd kill him for her, which sounds cheesy as fuck but I mean every word of it. What goes through your head to hit your girlfriend? Especially a girl like Sadie. She looked so afraid when she noticed us in the restaurant. She looked so distraught when we got kicked out.

Clearly she forgives everyone too easily. Well everyone but me. I don't know why she's still mad at me. I don't know what she wants me to do. I just want her to be safe with me again but there's shit all for me to help her with.

I clicked back on our chats, I'd been putting off responding.

"Messages with Sade"
'Sorry'

'Sorry for making a scene.'
'Hope your okay'

It was late at night so she probably wouldn't respond. I knew that but I could hope. after a bit of waiting I decided she was asleep. I rolled over in my bed and threw my phone off the bed.
I fell asleep decently quickly, I was exhausted and it showed. I woke up around 12 and got ready for a sidemen shoot. It was another split or steal from what I'd been told previously.

I arrived at the studio on time and took a seat next to Ethan and josh. I couldn't be bothered with filming today. Maybe it would take her off my mind! Maybe it could help me think of better things.

Filming was long but I enjoyed it pretty much. Id gotten pretty pissed off when I was eliminated but I wouldn't expect anything else. I rushed home, not wanting to talk for long. I was drained and needed some me time. Some time to just watch some tv with a beer and relax.

'Alright mate?' Cal questioned as I strolled in.

'Mhm' I replied dryly, I felt bad. He had tried to talk to me a lot recently but I kept shutting him down. I couldn't be bothered to be honest. I could see it hurt him and that made me feel horrible every time. You'd think maybe that would mean I would stop and talk to him. Yet that's the opposite. His hurt stare scares me off further as I worry about annoying him more.

I decided it would be best to nap for a while. I'd been so tired all day that I couldn't think of a better idea.

I dug my head into my pillow and attempted to sleep. After a while of tossing and turning and no luck I gave up and grabbed my phone.

The more I scrolled through photos of us, the more I gave up. Why should I continue being so desperate for her when she won't come back. Why should I love someone who's over me? Why the fuck should I wait for someone who's never coming. Why waste my life alone while she moves on?

I'd had enough. If she could move on, so could I.

"messages with Kira"
'hey.'

'oh hey Harry! Haven't seen u in a while x.'
'Wouldn't mind changing that though 😉'

'yeah it's been a while'
'u in town rn?'

'Mhm. Doors unlocked to..'

'might just have to use it then'

I got off my bed and fixed my hair before heading out the door.