merry christmas, meanie

Suffocation

"Wonuuuu, wake up, Jieun's not listening." Mingyu aggressively shakes Wonwoo awake, who's knocked out completely. Wonwoo only groans as a response, rolling over on his other side to relish the last few moments of his slumber.

"Wonwoo please, I don't know what to do, she's been crying for so long now," Mingyu pleads, which triggers Wonwoo's dad radar, as he nearly jumps out of bed and rushes to Mingyu desperately holding onto Jieun, trying everything he could to calm her down.

After minutes of rocking her back and forth, and lightly patting her head, Jieun stops crying, falling asleep in Wonwoo's arms right away. He heaves a sigh of relief, passing her onto Mingyu so he could go freshen up.

His day has just started, and Wonwoo can already feel it isn't going to be the best. A painful reminder of his work for the weekend flashes alarmingly in his brain, while he's just trying to brush his teeth in peace.

The built-up burnout really gets to him these days, when he wishes for nothing but to spend a day in his bed without having to do anything. That's the type of recharge he needs, but he can't have it. He's in no place to have the luxury of such a day, and it isn't the first time he feels like actually dropping out of university.

He stares at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, and he's unsurprised by how dead he looks. The bags under his eyes are darker than his hair, and his hair looks like a bird's nest. He's in need of a haircut, but he barely has the time to do so. Well, he could try to snip some of it by himself.

And, that's exactly what he does. He grabs a pair of scissors from the bathroom cabinet and wets his hair in the sink. Anything to delay stepping out into the real world.

Twenty minutes and a great deal of hesitance later, Wonwoo looks at himself with noticeably shorter hair in the mirror. Not as bad as he thought, the haircut would definitely be enough for a while.

Just as he's about to step into the shower, he hears urgent bangs from outside the door. "WONU OPEN UP!" Mingyu screams. Wonwoo doesn't understand why he gets all frustrated at Mingyu's urgent voice, though he understands it might be something important; Mingyu's never been one to shout for no reason.

Eyes narrowed and a displeased expression playing on his face, Wonwoo swings the door open to be met with a sight of a wide-eyed, panicked Mingyu looking at him. "What do you want?" Wonwoo spits, and he sees hurt flash across Mingyu's worried face. His face hardens just as quickly. "I was just concerned why you've been locked in the bathroom for over an HOUR. How else do you expect me to react?" Mingyu's voice is scarily bland.

Wonwoo doesn't bother with a reply, still glaring right into Mingyu's eyes. "Well, you could have been more civil with those screams." He says, and pushes past a stunned Mingyu, into the room. He locks himself inside yet again, huddling into the corner between his bed and the wall. He can't understand his outburst just now; nothing particular seemed to have sparked it. He was just annoyed - Wonwoo decides.

Gentle knocks on the bedroom door snap Wonwoo out of his thoughts, making him sigh. He wants to be left alone right now, yet he feels like he needs silent company. "Go away, Mingyu." He whimpers, regretting it the moment Mingyu's footsteps patter away from the door.

Taking a bath was long forgotten, as Wonwoo slips into headspace, doing nothing. He wants to lash out, break things, go berserk, but in another part of him, he has no energy to do so. Looking at time moving past without a worry enrages Wonwoo beyond limits. Just seeing the pages from a bunch of his notes sway around with the breeze entering and exiting the room, makes him want to rip it half, so he wouldn't be able to see them move again. The slightest sound or movement clouds Wonwoo suffocatingly.

He knows he should be doing something to take his mind off of things, as a distraction, which would make returning to reality a bit more bearable. But he doesn't have the slightest idea of what he should be doing.

A few of his friends from his courses seem to have fifty times the life Wonwoo has. Keeping up with them through social media, Wonwoo comes across them going all out, and they look like they're having fun. Yet his idea of loosening up is quite different from theirs; he could never keep up with their energy.

Up until last week, Wonwoo was ecstatic at the thought of Christmas break. But now, he feels blank; he has nothing to do.

Although going on a mini road trip with Mingyu doesn't sound bad.