merry christmas, meanie

Hospital

Mingyu sits through the entire ride to the hospital silently, while bouncing Jieun on his thigh the whole time. He holds her close to his chest, never letting his grip on her loosen. She's someone special to him -- and he can't afford anything happening to her, right now especially. And he thinks he can prevent that from happening solely by keeping her in his eyesight at all times.

He's compelled to ask her every two minutes whether or not she's doing okay. Thankfully, she either replies with a simple thumbs up, or muttering a quiet 'yes' every time he asks.

Even right now, Mingyu's deeply terrified being inside a moving vehicle, having Jieun with him, especially. His gaping fear for vehicles had been something relatively easy to deal with earlier, but now it's like it's been sharply etched into his mind. Even if he tried his best, Mingyu doesn't think he would be able to fill the prominent grooves anymore.

"Just for Wonwoo. And Jieun." He keeps muttering to himself for the whole time. Like a light weight being lifted off his chest, Mingyu thanks the moment the vehicle reaches the hospital, and he gets to exit the ambulance. "Jieun, stay with me, okay?"

"Okay."

"Thank you."

"I don't want to trouble you more."

Mingyu breaks down right there, not caring that Jieun's watching him. He softly kisses her head, and catches up with the stretcher.

He knew it would happen when a few doctors instruct him to leave the child out of a certain radius. But there's no way he's going to let that happen. He tries to talk the doctors out of it, but when they strictly deny, he eventually ends up staying with Jieun. He sees one of the doctors send him a look of consideration, almost pity, and Mingyu wants to slap them hard.

How the fuck she understands the situation, Mingyu doesn't know. But when Jieun tell him to go ahead and look after her Daddy, Mingyu nearly gets frustrated at her. He's annoyed at the toddler - or he's more in disbelief that she's handling the situation way better than him. Although he feels guilty right after, as Jieun's eyes develop a sheen of tears and slight fear in them from Mingyu not being able to successfully hold his turmoil back.

"I'm sorry, but I can't leave you, Ji. Wonwoo wouldn't want me to." He explains to the child - on the verge of tears.

"Okay."

Mingyu hates his mind of not working like he wanted it to. The moment he sits down with Jieun in his arms, it replays the scenes - old and new ones - loud and clear. A piercing, eery ring infiltrates his ears, as he desperately tries to block the disturbance out. He can't handle it right now, when he's supposed to be support for Jieun.

The old anguish - from his mum's death, and the current scenario play side by side in his brain. The scarily similar scenes make Mingyu want to curl up into a ball and just pray that they go away. He panics and begins trembling - without his knowledge. His hands quiver, as his grip on Jieun loosens. Only when she shakes his arm, does Mingyu realise what's happening to him, and he ties to regain some composure.

"Are you okay?" Jieun asks carefully.

"Yeah, yeah I'm okay."

"You were shaking."

"Was I?"

Jieun nods, to which Mingyu doesn't respond.

He begins to get restless about Wonwoo a while later, his limbs getting jittery all over again. At one point, he can't take it. "Ji, promise me you won't go anywhere, or talk to anyone, okay? I'll be right back, just give me a few minutes."

"Okay. I promise."

"Sure?"

"I'm sure. I'll stay right here."

"You're very brave, hang on," And Mingyu finally takes the risk of leaving her alone. Just for a while -- until he checks up on Wonwoo.

He enters the ward after a bunch of doctors confirming whether he's the right person allowed to do so. He steps inside, and his limbs nearly give out at the sight. He sees Wonwoo hooked to two defibrillators, as two doctors try to revive his heart back to normal condition. Mingyu hesitates to speak.

"Will he be fine?"

"Who are you?" One of them rudely spits back at him.

"I'm his boyfriend, I got him here." Mingyu tries hard not to get affected by the doctor's tone. Instead he directs most of his questions to the other one present.

"He's alive, thank the gods, but uh..."

"Please tell me." Mingyu doesn't hesitate to fold his palms in front of the doctor, begging for an answer.

"He doesn't seem in a regular condition currently. We're doing everything we can."

"That's what they always say..." "Okay." Mingyu speaks through gritted teeth, putting on a forced look of politeness. And he turns away.

•

Mingyu has no idea of the time. Fuck his classes, he doesn't care. Jieun fell asleep on his lap soon after he returned from seeing Wonwoo.

Thankfully, as he got to know later, Wonwoo's heart was steady and beating. But he was still unresponsive. According to the doctors, the hit was pretty hard, but luckily there was little damage to his brain. His body was exhausted, and badly battered, which would take a while to return to normal.

Mingyu gets an unexpected visitor sometime early in the morning, halfway through his rocky sleep. Someone tentatively shakes him awake, and Mingyu opens his eyes to see Junhui in front of him.

"I just came to check." Junhui mutters softly, taking in consideration that Jieun's still asleep.

"Everything's fine." It isn't, but gaslighting himself was a good way to stay sane.

"I'm glad." Junhui doesn't dig deeper, and keeps the conversation at the surface.

Junhui leaves after a few minutes of silence, with a light pat on Mingyu's back. Mingyu just nods at him, as he watches him walk away. He's thankful for the stranger.

The thought of their parents whizzes past his brain just then, putting him into a debate with himself. Should he or should he not tell them? For all he knows, Wonwoo could be under risk if his body still remained unresponsive for a longer time period.

Knowing Wonwoo, Mingyu decides it's best if he keeps it silent for a few days - a week at most. Regardless of Wonwoo's opinion, if the boy showed no signs of waking up a week later, Mingyu tells himself he would immediately let them know.

Mingyu knows it's time to leave when he sees Jieun waking up shuddering, tears leaving her half-closed eyes.