merry christmas, meanie

Letter

Mingyu literally can't take it anymore. He doesn't care, he's going to tell Wonwoo whatever he has going inside his brain since the past few days. But he knows for sure he'd end up having an ugly breakdown if he actually spoke his thoughts out, so he opts for writing the longest, most heartfelt note, conveying everything he wanted to, to Wonwoo. Even pre-schooler Mingyu had never put this much effort in writing a letter to some random cousin to impress his teacher.

And he sets about pouring all his thoughts on paper, when Wonwoo's away, busy in his classes.

•

Hi Baby,

I know it's been a while since we even looked at each other, but it's killing me. I just had to do something to tell you everything you wanted to hear that day, so here it is. I know I'm definitely breaking down if I ever told you all of this by actually talking.

I don't know where to start, honestly. Let's start at the part where you said you aren't enough. Well you fucking are. I don't know how many times I'd have to tell you this, but whenever I do, I say it from the bottom of my heart - you have always been more than enough for me, and Jieun, might I add.

Remember the time when we joined our new high school? You immediately got popular, which you never really liked being, and I remained the scrawny boy everyone loved to pick on. Remember the countless number of times you'd arrive as my knight-in-a-shining-armour to shoo the bullies away? And not to mention, taking care of ALL my wounds later, and lying to my parents about the bullying. I felt safe in that school, no matter how many times I got punched and mocked for all those four years. Defending me in front of all those stupid people picking on me? And then patiently wiping all my tears and waiting for me to calm down after any incident? You think that was nothing?

When mum died, no one could really know the period Minseo and I went through. I had to stay strong for my baby sister, but I had no one to hold on to, until the news reached your house. And suddenly you stood in front of me, bright and shining, scattering the darkness bit by bit. I can't even count the number of times I've cried to you, I just know it was on several occasions. I literally can't explain enough how much you helped me that time. I had been extremely close to doing things, I just kept away from all of it because of you.

And just so you know, my family has always been way too fond of you.

As for the project thing and all, I don't think it's possible to openly express what went on in my brain for those two weeks. You got into a fucking accident, I think that explains most of it, and I fucking saw you. Jieun needed someone too, she was in the greatest need of someone. Everything just flew out the window when Jieun's well-being came into picture. But I'll have you know, Jieun, just like you, comforted me in ways I can't be thankful enough for. She soothed me back to sleep whenever I woke up in cold sweat from nightmares.

Seeing you attached to those weird equipment I don't even know the names of terrified me. I was scared for you, what if you never woke up? Doctors lie as if it's their second job. I was scared for Jieun, how would she deal with the fact that her Daddy could be no more? Do you know how fucking petrified I was after the accident? I never told you, and I didn't want to. Knowing you, you would take the blame on yourself. You did, eventually, and I'm trying to let you know that you shouldn't. It's no one's fault. This had to happen, and the three of us just happened to be in the midst of it.

So let us please leave it behind? It's past, after all, and it could stay that way. If only all of us could get over it, and look at the bright side that we're all okay now, everything's fine, and both of us have an important examination ahead of us. Let's focus on that now, okay? (I'm sorry, the last part is everything but bright, but you get my point-)

Also, don't worry about my grades and all. As long as I know you're fine and doing good, I would always have something to do shit for.

-Gyu

•

Mingyu sighs heavily once he's done writing, straightening his back from its weird bent form over the couch. He slips the now-folded sheet of paper into a book he knows Wonwoo doesn't go a day without opening, somehow knowing that things would be fine from here.