Noelle.

EIGHT.

Ayva.

Seeing my sister for the first time again in nearly five years was bittersweet. I missed her so much, but seeing that she had a kid broke my heart in more ways than one. Knowing that Keith and Aria knew the whole time and not me was the icing on the fuckin cake. I was angry. Bitter.

My eyes panned from my sister over to Aria, who had her arms hooked on to my brothers, her head laid on him. I can't stand that snow roach, first she took my sister away from me, now she gunning for my brother? "If this a family matter, why she here?" I asked, my head cocked to the side, leg crossed over the other, a manicured finger pointed at Aria with my eyes firmly locked with my brother's.

Aria and Noelle have been friends for as long as I could remember, and for as long as I could remember, I was never fond of her, always strapped to Noelle hip, never too far away, leaving zero room for me. When her and Aria was together, it was as if I ain't even exist, that's why I loved when it was just us, the way it was supposed to be. When Noelle finally got old enough to start hanging out with friends outside of the house, my parents always made me tag along, and I thought of it as a bonding experience with my older sister. My role model.

When I was younger, 13 maybe, I mimicked the things her and her friends did, learning how to be a young adult. Picking up on they lingo, sense of style, and overall how they carried themselves. In my eyes, Noelle was the IT girl, I couldn't imagine nobody else not being able to look up to her the way that I did. I remember feeling a lil bit of jealously towards the girls in her grade, her friends especially. I was the youngest who never got the attention from my parents that I craved, never had too many friends at school, but with Noelle, just me and Noelle, I never felt like that outsider. Everything just seemed so easy for her and that brought me a sense of comfort knowing that with her, I didn't have to feel like that anymore, even if it was only for a couple hours.

In a sense, Noelle was like a second momma to me.
Hell, she was damn near my first momma and our mom was my second mom cause of how much Noelle did for me. When she got her first job, she got my entire school wardrobe plus her own, made sure my hair stayed done, whether she did it for me, taught me how to do certain styles, or paid for it to get done. I never wanted for anything as long as I knew I had Noelle.

She's always been someone I've admired and wanted to be like since a young age, I cling to her like a child to their mother. She was the only real mother figure that I knew. I'm sure it was hard for her practically raising me and our parents, especially after Keith spent some time away in jail, then left for college. By the time he'd gotten out and eventually left for college when his records were expunged , Noelle was practically moved out of the house with Aria, then she disappeared.

My heart felt like it was ripped from my chest, and I just knew in those broken pieces that I was part of the reason for her moving out and leaving. I was too much to carry along with my parents. She wanted out, and I couldn't blame her. Seeing her again, so happy, with such a different glow to her, along with a child, made me feel like in a way, it was good that she got away.

It worked out so well for her, and though I was hurting for a while, I eventually was able to get myself up. As happy as I am for her and where she is in life now, I still can't shake the bitterness. Maybe that's my selfishness showing, or my stubbornness, but this wasn't something that could be so easily swept under the rug for me, and I wasn't gonna let it happen.

"Don't start, Ayva" Aria replied, snapping me out of my festering bitterness. "Nah, cause you-" "Both of you chill, for real. Ayva this ain't about you right now, just chill and listen to what Noelle gotta say" Keith cut in calmly but authoritatively, looking at me, eyebrows raised. I sat back on the old peeling leather couch, my mom next to me as she wrapped an arm around me, caressing my right shoulder gently.