Noelle.

TWENTY ONE.

Noelle.

I watched Leilani as she put her socks on, the way that I taught her minutes before. I showed her that the curve of her sock is where the heels of her feet go and how to put them on without them twisting by scrunching them up in her hand, then sliding her foot in. She put the left one on, pulling it up her ankle then beamed at me excitedly, "I did it!" I smiled, "Good job Lani!" I encouraged her, giving her a high five. She stood up, her sweat pants and matching hoodie covering her body, a Jean jacket over the hoodie.

She decided that she wanted to leave her hair in the same Afro as yesterday, my hair still in the same bun from yesterday also. "Come here" I said softly, reaching my hands out to her. She wrapped me in a hug, pressing her cheek to mine before falling to sit in my lap. I caressed her fro, "You know how it's always just been me and you?" I asked, getting ready to get into the conversation about Jeremiah with her. He'd offered to drive us to the airport but to have us come to his house for a few hours so he could get familiar with Leilani, we decided to save the talking between us for another day, it was too soon after our last one that made it almost nowhere. He still hadn't told me that he forgave me, and it's understandable. I was willing to give him as much time as he needed, but he wanted to be in Leilani's life, and I wasn't gonna deprive either of them of that any longer.

She looked up at me, nodding her head. I took a gentle breath before I spoke again, "Well, it won't be just us all the time anymore, do you understand mommy?" I asked. She scrunched her nose, eyebrows knit and lips pursed, "Will it be me and you and TT Aria?" She asked. I smiled, holding back a chuckle at how much she loved Aria, "Of course, and Grams and papa, paw paw and GG, uncle Keith, Auntie Ayva, and uncle David too. But there's someone else that I want you to know the way that you know me" I explained.

"Who?" She asked, looking at me with soft curious eyes. When I stared at them and could see the hint of excitement gleaming in them, my chest tightened. I can't believe I really have to introduce her to her dad in a few minutes, I can't believe I've been depriving her of this, of knowing him. Having a relationship with him. "Your dad" I started. Her smile grew, "I have a dad?" She whispered, still staring at me, my eyes brimming with tears as one fell, "Yeah... yeah, you do. You never met him because when you were in mommy's stomach, we moved. We moved away from here and the rest of the family and your daddy. You met him at the wedding, he wants to spend time with you if that's okay with you" I communicated, the tears running down my face now as Lani wiped them with her hands, "Why are you crying mommy?" She asked, pulling me in a hug.

Her compassion and innocence hurt me even more cause I'm the reason she doesn't know she has a dad. If I hadn't have left, if I wouldn't have run from my problems, I would have been able to face them head on. I would have had a larger support system, even if it weren't my parents. Jeremiah and Ayva were right, I'm selfish, and I have been for a while now, and not just to them, but to my child. The one person I'm not ever supposed to be selfish to. I focused so hard on trying not to be like my parents in that department that that's what I ultimately became.

"I'm just so happy that you finally get to spend time with him, that's all" I chuckled, making her smile at my words, "I hope he likes corn dogs" she beamed, "Guess what? He does!" I beamed back, she threw her head back, giggling as I tickled her. She laid out on my lap, catching her breath, "Will you be there with me when I spend time with him?" She questioned, "If you want me to be, I'll be there" I smiled, placing a hand on her stomach.

After a few minutes, Jeremiah texted me, telling me he was coming up to get our bags and I replied telling him the door was unlocked for him. "He's gonna be on his way up in a minute, get your shoes on" I noted as she climbed off my lap and I followed her towards the living room, Keith, Ayva, Derek, and Aria sitting on the couch, Leilani on the floor in front of the door, putting her shoes on.