Unbreak My Heart

PJs and wine

The weeks following the girls get together we hosted for April's birthday were busy, Sophia and I hardly had time to relax. When we weren't running out of the apartment to get to our culinary classes, we were practicing dishes in our kitchen or studying for a test or two.

I missed sleeping in, and I couldn't do that because we now had Saturday classes. The only time we could relax for a brief second was on Sunday, this was the day we spent doing laundry, catch up on sleep and do grocery shopping.

For the duration of these weeks, I couldn't even think much about Chef Jake's stares. Since that fateful night at the club, he has been acting strange, he stole glances at me when he thought I wasn't looking. He looked at me like I was some puzzle he needed to figure out, a mystery unknown to him. I ignored his stares most of the time, but often wondered what caused  those lingering looks.

Today is no different from the past weeks, he was piercing me with those eyes deep brown eyes of his, I looked around me and everyone was caught up in the test we were writing. For a while I ignored his stares like usual, but  decided to give him my own stare. For a while we looked at each other, both of us lost in our little world, not paying attention to the environment we were in. His brown eyes locked me in the gaze, searching and I felt my throat suddenly going dry.

As I found myself drowning in his brown irises, I cleared my throat and looked away, pretending like I wasn't just staring at my young instructor. What was wrong with me? Staring at him like I just did? One would believe he has me under his spell.

Since that particular night out with the girls, I have been spacing out during Chef Jake's classes, caught staring at him and even spent time thinking about him. What the hell? I was letting this man leaving rent free in my mind!

Get it together Amara. He's a man like any other.

Men lied, cheated and made empty promises, that's all they had to offer, and I had to business with Jacob! In their paths, they left a fare share of heartbroken women and children, they reeled us in, promised us the moon and stars, then left a pool of tears behind them.

"You are going to break that pencil" hissed Sophia making me jump.

"Huh?" I looked at her dumbfounded.

"Are you okay? You spaced out and looked ready to punch someone." She said with worry written all over her pale face.

I shook my head, trying to rid of any fogginess in my head and noticed that the room was clearing out. How long was I spaced out if class was just dismissed? I turned to Soph who was still awaiting for my reply when I felt her small hand touching my arm. "I'm fine, just exhausted."

Soph looked at me sceptically, but chose to let it go. I knew she was worried because this wasn't the first time I spaced out in class, this has been occuring more and more this week. My subconscious couldn't even let me sleep for more than four hours, I was always awake at the wee hours of the morning.

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As we packed our bags, ready to go home for the weekend chef Jake asked me to stay behind. I had an icky feeling why he wanted me to stay behind, Soph squeezed my arm for support before she left. I walked towards the front of the class and approached him.

"Yes chef?" I said after clearing my throat.

For a moment he just looked at me, straight into my eyes. Jacob was taller than me so I had to look up as he peered down on me, I hated the distance! It felt as though he was about to punish me or even bully me. It reminded me of everyone who used to bully me after my sperm donor left, the only difference was that Jacob's eyes were not full of pity or mocking me.