Unbreak My Heart

My heartbeat

"Feel my heart beat for you, do you feel that kitten?"

These words kept playing in my mind on repeat, I couldn't stop concentrate long enough before they penetrated through my medulla where I stored them since he said them.

It had been a day since he said them to me, but it felt like days. I still couldn't believe the situation I got myself into, after my mum's visit weeks ago yesterday I told Jake I wanted us to be friends with benefits. It was as though my dad's reappearance made me reckless. After telling my mum I didn't want to see him, she let me be with a promise that I will try to forgive him.

"Forgive him so you can live without him or the hurt he inflicted on you, holding you back" she said before she left.

Instead of acting on my mum's plea, I did the opposite. As Jacob kept on making me swoon with little things like buying me my favourite coffee, stocking chocolate bars in my work station at school and getting Soph and I supper so we can focus on the exams, I thought of the opposite of what he wanted. He wanted a relationship and I needed to get laid.

Jake and I had been busy with work during Spring holidays, him more than me and the fact that he wasn't seeing me as much made me crumpy and horny. So yesterday after work he gave me a lift home, but took me to his place before taking me home, this is where I told him my idea.

"I know it's not what you want-" I tried explaining.

"Of course it's not what I want! I want all of you, not just your body. And I am not your friend," he said sounding angry for even suggesting this to him.

"I'm not completely shutting the idea of being your girlfriend down, but let's take it one step at a time yeah?" I said standing in front of him.

"Normal people go on coffee dates, then lunch, kiss, more dates and have sex. In that order Amara!" He said with a deep rich voice.

I didn't particularly like him calling me Amara, but oh my goodness I don't think I have ever heard a sexy sound as that. Each time he called me Amara was when he was angry with me or wanted me to understand him well, it is then his Australian accent comes out to play.

"I hate order and rules and I never said I was normal, Jacob. And stop with stereotypes, we are both adults and can do what we want, in whatever order we want." My voice was sultry, hands on his chest.

Him being taller than me made this more interesting, I could see the anger in his brown eyes disappearing and in his eyes I saw lust. Lust for me and this pushed me to keep going, I closed whatever distance was between us, ran my hands on his strong biceps then stood on my tip toes and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth. The boots I had helped me reach him since he was helping.

Pushing boundaries and still waiting for any reaction from him, I kissed his soft lips once, twice and he gave in. I felt his rough hands holding my waist, pulling me closer than before, then his hands held my bum. Oh, it was the hottest thing ever, I liked it when he held it with both hands, as though it was made just for his hands. Then he kissed me like a man in need of oxygen and I his only supply.

Opening my lips for him his wet hot tongue met my own and he groaned, his other hand left its place on my bum and went under my sweater. "You little vixen, no bra?" He said roughly as his hand played with my hard bud. His lips left mine and he explored my neck with his lips, I don't think I have ever been so wet and turned on in my entire life.

"Jacob! Fuck me, please!" I begged

And just like that he stopped. I have never felt like crying for being denied sex like I did in that moment. I looked at him, angry at him and he took hold of my right hand, put it on his chest.