Unbreak My Heart

Tear-stained faces

For the past hours the girls have been sprawled out on comfy couch in the living room, while I laid down on the fluffy carpet. For the first time ever we were all not on a good space, each dealing with their own issues, but I decided to switch off the spotlight that's always following me.

As we sat down, Soph and I listened to April explain how her brother found out about Chris. I understood why Alex was mad at her for dating Chris, I reacted the same way months before Alex arrived from the USA.

Don't get me wrong, I supported whatever was going between her and Chris, but it doesn't mean I didn't understand Alex's view. Chris doesn't have good history, his bad reputation was well known around our peers. In the past weeks, all I have heard about him was good behaviour and April always maintained whatever was going on wasn't serious.

"What makes me mad is that he doesn't believe I can protect myself, even from Chris," April said with a groan.

She interrupted as I tried to explain "Mayb-"

"And don't tell me they are overprotective because I'm the only sister they have!" She pointed a finger at me.

Okay, she was right. That's exactly what I was going for. Being the only girl among three boys meant all men in her family handled her with kid gloves and held her like an egg, afraid it might drop and break. All her life her brothers and dad had a say in boys she dated and this made her rebel against them.

I remember one time when one guy in her biology class visited her so they could work on their school project, Alex scared the boy off even before he heard why he came to see April. She waited hours, not aware that Alex was the reason the boy never turned up until she called him. The next time she had a school assignment with a boy she went to their houses to avoid her brothers bulling her project partners.

As she got older she became rebellious and dated boys she knew no one would approve of. At one point she dated a senior in college and she was only 17 at the time. The college boy was covered in tattoos and piercings, and her father almost brought out his gun out.

"Is your relationship with this Chris guy serious?" Soph asked her eyebrows furrowed.

"Honestly, I don't know. At first I hooked up with him because I hadn't seen him in years and he looked so yummy," A said with dreamy eyes.

Then she continued "And I was curious about all that Alex's friends said about him, now I'm not sure if I keep going back for the awesome sex or not."

April has never been in a serious relationship, all her relationships were short term. At first I thought that's what she preferred, but I think it had to do with her work and always traveling then her overprotective brothers.

All these years there's just one man she has ever loved, a man out of her reach. A man her brothers and father would really throw a casket if they found out. She has tried to get over him over this past year, Chris was the first  guy to distract her long enough to forget him.

"Do you think you love him?" Soph asked so softly I wondered if April heard her.

Sighing heavily April said, "I wish I was capable of loving him or anyone for that matter"

Then she stood up and we watched her as she walked towards the kitchen. Soph looked at me, eyes full of questions. One thing I loved about Sophie is that she never pushed too hard, she was always fast to pick up topics that we weren't ready to venture into.

         ~~~~~~~~~~💔~~~~~~~~~~

Hours later we were nestled in between Sophie's blankets in her bedroom watching Bridgerton. This was my first time watching the series and I wondered why I never watched it before. Truth was I could never sit down for hours watching series on my own, I easily got bored or thought of something I had been planning or doing.