Chapter 36

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Austin stops short, breaking the peace of this perfect spring day

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Austin stops short, breaking the peace of this perfect spring day.

I'd been relishing the feel of his warm palm against mine, the air against my skin after a long, cold winter and rainy April, and the sight of cherry trees and lilac bushes in bloom. I'd put our troubles out of my mind. Not the healthiest habit, nor the most grown up. But I was determined to have a moment during which I was not panicking, and could be content in simple pleasures. To face my disastrous future with calm.

But then he stops on the sidewalk, dropping my hand as his floats to clutch his temple.

"Austin? What is it?"

His eyes film over, the fall-off look already there. "I've got a message," comes the redundant statement.

I take a sharp breath as the reality of my life seeps back into my thoughts. My insides brace, muscles clenching my guts painfully. Weight back and forth from one foot to the other as I wait for this next crisis to break.

Then he drops his hand and sighs.

"What is it?" I ask again.

"The loan," his tone is blunted. "The bank rejected my application."

"Our application?" He ignores my raised eyebrow.

The plan had been simple. We decided we had two options left: take out a line of credit or a loan to help pay off our back rent. It would be temporary - it would hold us over until we were back at work.

"They're not going to give it to us," Austin says. "They're not going to give us anything."

"Can... can they do that?"

He shakes his head, his tone patronizing. "They can do whatever they want. They're a private company."

"I know that, Austin," I say sharply. "I'm not a child." The day turns from bright, blue, spring to tinged with darkness. "What I mean is, why? How? What grounds do they have to just reject us?"

"We have no leverage left. We never had much in the first place. We're renting... we don't own anything yet. And we're unemployed. Not exactly the best bet for making money."

I pace, between one chunk of sidewalk and the next, careful not to cross their borders.

"There's got to be something else we can do - somewhere else we can apply? Credit unions, smaller banks –"

"Don't you think I've thought of that already?" He interrupts. "Don't you think I've exhausted every financial option I could possibly think of while you've been off doing whatever you want –"

"And what did they say?" I interrupt so he doesn't go there. I don't want to go there.

"What do you think, Andrea?" He scowls. "This was the last bank I was waiting to hear from. This was our last chance."

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