A Letter To You | TayNew

13. How do we start again?

The holiday season passed by and Tay tried with all his strength to navigate through his day normally. How can he bear the heaviness of it all? He had no idea how did he went through each day without randomly crumbling down. He held himself so well. And as painful as it already is, he has to meet New later. He can never destroy such friendship just because of his feeling. His feelings should not interfere with them because it is not a part of their bond. Feelings aside, he genuinely cares for New a lot. Aside from being his bestfriend, the two of them had been through a lot.

Tay celebrated the New Year alone unlike the years that passed by. They used to hangout after 12 am. Drink the night away or just be immersed in their conversations. Jumping from one topic to another. From bringing up their silliness from the past to figuring out what the future will be like.

Tay busied himself getting ready for their hangout later. Aira won't be with them for she wanted to give them space to be with each other just like how they used to before she came into the picture. That's what Newwie said when he asked him why he won't bring her Along.

That's the horror of Aira being Newwie's lover. Tay could never hate her. She's too kind and is a notable woman. She's independent and well-mannered. She loves Newwie's friends and even treats them like her own best friends. She takes care of them like she's the mom of the group. She gets along well with them.

How can he hate her?

That's why he ignores his own feelings and supports their relationship wholeheartedly. With an aching heart-but wholeheartedly. It's amazing how can a heart take so much pain but can still give so much love. And what's more amazing is that it usually does these things to the same person that hurt it. How can a heart be so kind that it can suffer silently just so they won't hinder with the happiness of the one they love, even if it costs a piece of itself dying.

He stared at his reflection. Luckily, he looks presentable enough. The traces of his grief are still there subtly but is closer to disappearing. He still cries himself to sleep sometimes but not as much as before. And that's the part that scares Tay. It's unusual for Tay. It's like his body is just bottling up his tears then it'll randomly pick a day to burst and drown himself with it.

They met at a famous fastfood chain and sat across from each other each with their coffees.

It won't just be the two of them Off and Gun decided to tag along when Tay told his and New's plan in their group chat as he was on his way to their meeting place. Tay didn't mind. He's even thankful that it won't just be the two of them. It seems like he's still not that ready to be completely be with New for a long time.

"How's your life being single?" Newwie asked Tawan with a smug look painted on his face.

"Wow? Oh, I see. So, this is how you'll do it?" Tawan jokingly act offended and even attempted to leave.

The two of then laughed it off and tay even throw his handkerchief at New.

"But, seriously, how are you? You didn't even invite me to hangout with you during the holidays? It feels like your hiding something from me. Are you secretly dating someone?"

Newwie's eyes looked at Tay suspiciously and even moved his body closer to Tawan, slowly moving forward.

Tay rolled his eyes at New and even raised an eyebrow. "You're the one that was caught up with other commitments during the holidays. I endulged myself up with solitude and it was fun nonetheless."

"Did you drink?"

"I did. I drank a lot..." Tay remembered the bottles of alcohol littered on his living room while he was suffering.