A Letter To You | TayNew

9. Happier

Song: Happier - Ed Sheeran

Aira and New are together everyday, leaving Tay to wander on his own.

Sometimes, he finds himself crying in the middle of the night. He doesn't want to cry anymore, he wants to stop the pain - but it just won't.

He just wants to stop the pain and end it all.

He decided to take a walk and maybe stop at a nearby coffee shop.

As he entered the shop, he found two familiar faces, New and Aira.

New said something that made them laugh together. Tay's heart clenched for a bit.

Staying here seems like a bad idea so instead of staying, he decided to leave and went straight home.

As he closed his door, he immediately slid down the door, clutching his left chest and crying his eyes out.

It hurts, loving New hurts. It's a wrong choice but it's one of the bravest decisions he had ever made.

A few moments later, his phone rings, Gun's calling him.

"Tay?"

"Gun?"

"You're okay right? Do you want us to come over?"

Tay sobbed harder when he heard Gun's first question.

"It hurts Gun. It hurts so much that I just want this to end, to stop. I feel like I can't take this anymore."

"Tay calm down. I'm sorry you have to feel this way. I'm sorry you have to go through this, but always remember that you're not alone. You can always call me, Off and I will immediately go there."

"Thanks Gun. Thank you so much. I just want to be alone right now"

"Alright. Stay safe, we love you"

Gun ended the call and Tay didn't even bother to turn his phone off, he just continued crying. He wants to let it all out, but somehow the pain's getting stronger.

'If only..'

Tay stood up with his phone and walked towards his window, he stared at the city lights and how busy the street is.

He decided to listen to some music, he shuffled his play list and the first song broke his heart even more.

'Walking down 29th and Park

I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier

Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah, you look happier, you do"

'New's happy with me but he's definitely happier with her.'

Tay smiled sadly while listening to the song. Although the song hurt him even more, he continued to listen to it.

"Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal, baby
If you're moving on with someone new

'Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you"

He decided to grab a chair and he sat down in front of his window, he liked to watch the busy street outside.

'Soon, when everything's alright, I'll be happy. I know I can finally find something or even someone that can make me happy, but no one's ever made me happy just like how you do'

Tay continued to cry silently, he just let his tears fall down. His heart hurts so much that he just want to rip it out.

'Sat on the corner of the room
Everything's reminding me of you
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier
Aren't you?'

He looked at his bedside table and there he saw the framed picture of him and New. It was New's Christmas gift for him. He was about to stare out the window again but before he can, he saw the teddy bear given by New.

How can he forget New, when even in his own room-he can see things that'll remind him of New. How can he forget New when he is staying inside his heart?

'Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darling, I am still in love with you

But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'd feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
I know I was happier with you

Baby, you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you'

Just like the last line, he's always ready to be with New whenever something bad happens. He'll always wait for New. Maybe, just maybe, they can happen.

But they never will.