motive. [shadilver]

06.

SILVER

I shouldn't be surprised that the shower eased a lot of things for me. It seems to lift of some weight, as well as make me feel better that I feel and smell clean. I'm still going to make myself go outside though, even if it's just for a few minutes. It... gives me time to think, which might not be the best right now, but the outside can be quite distracting sometimes, so I'm still giving it a shot.

I went into my kitchen to grab something I could snack on along the way, just to provide my brain with a little bit of happy chemicals from flavors I like. However, as I was opening my cabinets and fridge, it made me realize how little I had of everything.

Oh, bingo.

Grocery Shopping.

It'll take a few hours, keep my mind very occupied, and I won't feel guilty about it since it is a necessity. Perfect! Finally feeling satisfied and content for the first time today, and something to look forward to I grabbed what I needed and headed out the door.

Grocery Shopping used to give me a lot of anxiety, I don't exactly know why. Was it because of the people? The clerks randomly approaching me to ask me if everything was alright? The slight buzzing of the fridges and lights surrounding me? I don't know, but I'm very glad that it doesn't affect me as badly now.

Well, I would be kind of fucked if it did. Grocery Shopping is a necessity, and I am not making anyone do it for me. That would be way too embarrassing. I am capable of doing it, and that's that. Though, I haven't made any type of list... so it might take a while for me to get things. I can remember a few, but I know that it might be a trip where I need to walk down all of the aisles to see things that I might want, or need and just forget all of the time.

I was surprised to not see a lot of people here today, as it was a little bit later in the day. It's my fault for coming out so late, but I am glad that it didn't hurt me to do so. I started with a basket, but it was starting to get heavy with the things I was putting in it. I was shifting and fidgeting with it every few minutes, switching it from arm to arm since it was a little uncomfortable.

With a small sigh, I set it down on some raw packaged meat while I was looking, and it was nice to get that weight off of my arms. I guess... they don't have much muscle on them, that's why it was bothering me so much. I grabbed some chicken and squinted my eyes to search for some fish, soon realizing that I was in the way of somebody.

I glanced over at them and grabbed my basket to move over, assuming that the fish was in a different section. However, as I looked up to move away, I felt my heart drop out of my body. It wasn't the person I was scooting away from for their convenience, it's who I saw at the end of the meat display, quite a few strides away from me.

What the hell? How is this happening? I have to be hallucinating. There is no way that I am in the same place, at the same time, as that guy who helped me at the convenience store. Well... I did say that if I were to ever see him again... I would thank him for what he did... God, why does the universe have to do this to me? I wasn't begging for it!

I didn't know what to do, I was just frozen. But it wasn't hard to see that he was minding his business, and I was minding mine. We should keep it that way. However... the opportunity is still there... No, that would be so weird. Me just randomly walking up to him... he might think I am a stalker. This is just such a strange situation.