motive. [shadilver]

09.

SHADOW

I couldn't tell if I was tolerating the idea of going to work or not. Because my route by car passes by that coffee shop. It had every time, but of course, I never really put any thought into it until after all of this. However, it felt somewhat lame to just pass by it as if it never existed. But I am good at that. Pretending things don't exist just because they bother me.

But as I got to my office, I was only in there for an hour before someone grabbed me for a sudden meeting. For some reason, the thought that they were thinking of firing me flashed in my mind, but there wouldn't be any reason that I could think of for them to do that. Still, it was an unexpected meeting, and those don't happen often unless it is something serious.

At the meeting, the tension faded quickly after I realized what it was all about. Apparently, they were having a hard time keeping employees, because they don't do well being stuck in the same office for a handful of hours every day of the week. So, they started to introduce the exception of remote work if it is applicable to you.

And luckily for me, it did apply to me.

My work is something that can be done on a computer, and nothing else. I didn't need anything extra, such as printing or hand-written work. Even though I am not affected by being in an office every day, all day, I'm sure it'll be a nice change of pace. I could go anywhere... even stay home, and get my work done. Let's just hope they don't change this benefit because I don't think many people will do well without it— judging from the data they were showing me.

So, after that, I went back to my office and unplugged my laptop from my monitor. It was strange to be holding this in my arms, and walking away with it. I don't bring a bag with me, because I never need to, so I just have to be extra careful with this. It was actually a little funny watching all of my coworkers leaving the building with their things. I didn't realize how many people thought this was a good idea.

But once I got into my car, still warm from barely turning it off, I just sat there in silence. Where do I go? Do I just go home? I wasn't able to eat anything today, so that might be smart. But I have a feeling that if I go back home, I will possibly fall back asleep and that will not be a good idea.

The silence was eating at me. Because there isn't something that I can ignore. It's so cliché, but I should be out and about right now. They have tables... and food...

The drive there seemed too natural, and like it was only five minutes long. It's so stupid that I feel scared to enter. I am hesitating by the door, the cold and heavy frame of my laptop digging into my arm as I just stand there. If I really am feeling so weird about this, nobody said I have to interact with anyone. That is not the end goal, anyway.

I finally entered, the smell of coffee, warmth, and overall sweetness blanketing me in a way that made my chest ache. I picked a table in the corner, even though it's probably the table that everyone wants, and I am going to be hogging it for a few hours. I shouldn't care about what others think... God, that didn't start until I even interacted with him. He has to be some type of parasite or something.

Saying something mean about him in my head helped a little bit, but it also made me realize that I was just sitting here, just staring. I hadn't even opened my laptop yet. I am really out of this world right now. Fortunately, seeing my screen and doing a little bit of typing locked me back into work mode, and everything faded away from me.