motive. [shadilver]

12.

SILVER

Apparently, telling me about the event was just the last thing on their list of actually organizing the event, because my manager had already set everything up. I think that it should've gone a little differently... but it's okay. I will still be proactive and tell our customers that we will not be available in a few days. It's not that the café was going to be closed, just different workers would be working when me and Blaze do.

I know that our regulars understand and have learned our routine, and I feel like some of them prefer us to others. I don't want to seem too confident in that idea, but I feel that way sometimes. I mean, I am the same way. I haven't been a regular to a place in a while, but the few times that I was, I definitely had favorites and felt more comfortable staying at that place because of that.

I had made a cute little poster that I propped up when you order at the cash register, but sometimes people... don't like to read. So, I verbally told them anyway, people I recognized, at least. It wouldn't be a big deal if people didn't know, but I wanted to make sure that certain people did for maximum comfort. I hate how dedicated I am at this job sometimes, but it's mainly the tips that keep me going.

And... how do you get tips? You make people happy. Sometimes it's a cruel system, but unfortunately, I depend on it. If I have to be a people pleaser so that I can make rent... it's a subtle sacrifice I am willing to make. Everyone was nice and understanding about it, and some were even grateful. However, I am a little excited to be somewhere else for a shift. I think that it will be nice to get a new group of customers that have never seen us before, and maybe, we will get more people. More tips...

I definitely sounded like a broken record by the end of the day, and my eyes drifted over to someone in the corner. I don't know if he was listening to me the entire day, so I don't know if he knew by now. I always felt so timid approaching him, because I technically didn't need to, and I never approached customers unless they were to take their dishes. It always felt so weird when it came to him because sometimes he wouldn't get anything. I had already taken his dishes away hours ago, so I have no excuse to come up to him.

"Hi... Shadow,"

I felt a little better with how soft and smooth his head turned toward me, his attention a lot calmer than I always make up in my head. I felt my eyes flicker between his for a moment before I could figure out how I wanted to word this.

"I probably have been annoying about this today, but better be safe than sorry—. On Saturday, my coworker and I will go up to a festival... event type thing in Wall-Morrow. Just so you know not to expect us then."

I wonder if he knows how unapproachable he looks. He probably doesn't do it on purpose, but it makes me a little uneasy. It's so conflicting because I know that he is capable of being nice, and that's all he has ever been with me, but still... Maybe I wouldn't be so scared to interact or even look at him if he didn't look like I was bothering him all the time. His scowl and tight eyebrows could send anyone in the other direction.

As I was overthinking, waiting for him to respond—which I barely gave him time to before I realized that my words might sound like an invitation.

"And I am not telling you this to encourage you to come! I just wanted to let you know... just like everyone else."

I startled him a little bit, which made me feel even worse, so I just followed the lines on the ground.

"I see, don't worry, I didn't see it that way. Thank you for letting me know. Will you be closed, then?"

I looked back up at him, giving him a gentle shake of my head.

"No, my other coworkers will be here, so you are more than welcome to come in."

He nodded slightly before glancing over at his computer screen, and I felt like I overstayed my welcome in his little space. So, I started to step away, and his eyes quickly came back to me.

"Saturday?"

There was silence for a moment between us before I nodded, trying to speak out a yes but it came out funny. I cleared my throat before just giving up. He got the message, and I am embarrassed as all hell. I had to go behind the counter and crouch down where nobody could see me, hoping that he would leave soon. I did that some process with so many people, that I thought it would be easy with him. But maybe it is the way that he replies to me.

It isn't like the other people, who have more energy and reciprocate my energy. He has his own energy and keeps himself quiet. Maybe that is what throws me off. However, I must admit, it's refreshing. As much as it is a challenge with my social anxiety, after I calm down, I am a lot more appreciative of having a slower interaction. I looked up a little bit to see Blaze, and her face was a little interesting.

I didn't know if it was one of disapproval or defensive concern. But... I didn't really like it. She let out a small huff before pointing to the cup of water I have under the counter to drink throughout the day. I couldn't decide if I should ask her about that face she was making, but at least she was still caring. Maybe... she wasn't mad at me?