Sirf Tum

4

Author's POV

Mihir sat at his desk, staring at his laptop screen. His fingers hovered over the keyboard, but he couldn't bring himself to type a single word. He couldn't focus on work, not with the guilt and anxiety weighing heavily on his mind.

He reached for the picture frame sitting next to his laptop. It was a picture of Shatakshi, his wife, smiling at him with her beautiful eyes. He traced her face with his finger and a wave of emotion washed over him.

"Sia," he whispered, using the nickname he had given her. She always called him 'Mir' in return, a term of endearment that never failed to make his heart melt.

Last night, they had made love after getting a little drunk. It was passionate and intense, but now he couldn't shake off the feeling of guilt. He didn't deserve her. He didn't deserve anyone, not with his anxiety and low self-confidence.

He reached for his pills, his usual way of calming himself down. But then he stopped. He didn't want to rely on the pills anymore. He didn't want his wife to see him like this, weak and struggling. He had to do something, for her sake.

He grabbed his phone and made an appointment with their therapist. He needed to get to the root of his issues, to finally confront his past and move on. For too long, he had been hiding behind his anxiety, using it as an excuse to not live life to the fullest.

As he sat in the therapist's office, he poured his heart out. He talked about his childhood and the bullying he had endured in school. How he had lost his first love in a messy breakup and how it had shattered his confidence.

"Shatakshi is the only one who sees past my flaws," he admitted, tears streaming down his face. "I don't want her to leave because of my issues. I love her so much."

The therapist listened patiently, offering kind words of support and guidance. "You are not defined by your past, Mihir. You are a strong and capable person. Your anxiety does not make you weak, it makes you human. And Shatakshi loves you for who you are, both the good and the bad."

Through flashback scenes, the therapist helped him see how much he had grown since those traumatic teenage years. He had found love and had a successful career. It was time for him to let go of his past and embrace his future.

As he spoke, flashbacks of his teenage years flooded his mind. He remembered the painful breakup with his first love and how it had shattered his self-confidence. He recalled how his family had always brushed aside his emotional struggles, telling him to toughen up and be a man. And even in school, his teachers had taunted him for not living up to his potential, leading to a downward spiral of negative thoughts.

But amidst all the chaos, Shatakshi had been his saving grace. She had chosen to marry him despite his flaws and had never given up on him, even when he had given up on himself. She had helped him see the good in him and had been his strength when he needed it the most.

Dr. Rao listened attentively, offering words of comfort and reassurance. He gave Mihir practical tips to manage his anxiety and self-doubt, and assured him that he was not alone in his struggles.

As Mihir left the therapy session, he felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. He knew that he still had a long way to go, but with Shatakshi by his side and Dr. Rao's guidance, he was determined to overcome his insecurities.

That night, as Mihir lay next to Shatakshi, he couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with love for her. He pulled her closer and whispered, "I love you, Sia."

Shatakshi smiled and replied, "I love you too, Mir." And in that moment, Mihir knew that no matter what, he would always find the strength to fight his demons as long as he had Shatakshi by his side. After all, she was his Sia, his partner in every sense of the word.

The Next Day

Mihir walked through the door of his apartment, exhausted and mentally drained from his long day at work. He could feel the familiar wave of anxiety start to creep up on him, but he pushed it back and forced a smile on his face. He didn't want Shatakshi, or Sia as he called her, to see him like this.

But as soon as he entered the living room, she bombarded him with questions.

"How was your day, Mir?" Sia asked as she looked up from her book.

"It was fine," Mihir replied curtly, hoping it would be enough to satisfy her curiosity and make her stop asking. But Sia was not one to give up easily.

"Just fine? You seem tense. Is everything okay?"

Mihir's patience wore thin and he snapped, "Can we talk about this later, Sia? I just need some time to myself right now."

Sia, sensing the tension in his voice, immediately backed off and let him be. Mihir silently cursed himself for snapping at her, but he couldn't help it. Ever since he got married to Sia through an arranged marriage, he had been struggling to keep his mental illnesses in check. And he didn't want to burden her with his problems.

He sat on the bed and remembered the conversation he had with his therapist regarding his issues and took a deep breathe to remain calm.

"Mihir, what brings you here today?" the therapist asked as he took a seat across from her.

"I...I don't know. I just feel so...lost," Mihir stammered, unable to put his feelings into words.

"Is it because of your anxiety?" the therapist probed gently.

Mihir nodded, tears welling up in his eyes. "I can't escape it anymore. It's like a dark cloud hanging over me, suffocating me."

The therapist listened patiently as Mihir poured his heart out. He told her about his struggles with anxiety and low self-esteem, and how he had been in and out of therapy for years. But what he hadn't told anyone, not even Sia, was the root cause of his mental struggles.

"I...I had a traumatic childhood, where I was constantly criticized and belittled by my parents. They never thought I was good enough, and that has stuck with me all my life. No matter how hard I try, I can never shake off those words."

The therapist's eyes softened as he saw the pain in Mihir's eyes. He knew what he was going through, and he knew the only way for him to heal was to confront his past.

"Mihir, have you ever talked to Sia about all of this?" she asked gently.

Mihir shook his head. 'I don't want to burden her with my problems. I don't want her to see me as weak.'

The therapist put a hand on his shoulder. "Mihir, Sia loves you. And she has been with you through your ups and downs. She deserves to know the truth. And I know she will support you and help you through this."

Mihir left the therapist's office with a heavy heart and a newfound determination. He knew what he had to do. He had to tell Sia the truth.

As he made his way back to their apartment, he could hear Sia's voice calling out to him from the balcony.

"Mir, come join me. It's such a beautiful night. The stars are out."

Mihir hesitated for a moment, but then pushed himself to walk towards her. Sia looked at him, concern etched on her face.

'Hey, you okay?' she asked as she patted the empty seat next to her.

Mihir sat down and took a deep breath. "Sia, there's something I need to tell you. I've been keeping it from you for a long time, but I can't do it anymore."

Sia held his hand and nodded, giving him the courage to continue.

"You know I...I suffer from anxiety issues. And low self-esteem. And it's all because of my childhood. My parents were never supportive, always putting me down and making me feel like I wasn't good enough. And I've been struggling to overcome it all my life."

As Mihir spoke, Sia could see the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. And she knew that this was why he always pushed her away whenever he felt overwhelmed.

But instead of feeling angry or upset, Sia's heart broke for him. She pulled him into a hug, holding him tightly as he let his tears fall freely.

"Mihir, relax. I'm so sorry you've had to go through all of this alone," she whispered, stroking his hair.

Mihir looked up at her, tears still streaming down his face. 'I'm sorry I never told you. I didn't want you to see me like this, as a broken and weak person.'

"No, you are not weak, Mir. You are strong for dealing with all of this on your own. But from now on, you don't have to do it alone. I'm here for you, always," Sia said, her love shining in her eyes.

Mihir couldn't hold back any longer. He leaned in and kissed Sia, pouring all of his love and gratitude into that one gesture.

As they sat together, stargazing and talking through the night, Mihir finally felt a weight lifted off his shoulders. He knew that he had a long road of recovery ahead, but with Sia by his side, he was ready to face it all.

Because sometimes, all it takes is the love and support of one person to make the world seem a little less daunting. And for Mihir, that person was Sia.

TBC