The Exit - Oscar Piastri FF

12. - Confessions

Alexandra, Charles, Pierre, Lando and I were all lying on the front of the boat, getting tan and talking, while the yacht was still just a little outside the harbour. The sun was baking, so I decided to go and put on some sunscreen to avoid getting burned. "You okay, Yn?" Lando asked when he noticed me getting up from beside him. He lifted his sunglasses as he gazed up at me, soon after followed by Pierre who did the same. "Yeah, just wanna go get some sunscreen," I said, smiling. Lando nodded and laid back down and I left to the back of the boat where my bag was located. 

When I was done rubbing my legs and arms in the lotion, I was caught off guard by Pierre's voice, who was standing a few feet behind me. "Need some help with your back?" He offered, making me jump a little by his presence. I looked back and saw him leaning against one of the walls, smiling at me. "That's okay, I'll ask Alex for help," I said, then began walking his way as he was standing in the way to the other side of the boat. "You sure? I won't bite," He said in an attempt to lighten up the mood, probably noticing the awkwardness showing on my face. "There you are, Yn, I was gonna ask if I could borrow that sunscreen!" We hear Alexandra from behind, and I almost catch myself letting out a sigh of relief. I smile widely at her as she walks past Pierre, following me back to my bag and we watch Pierre getting back to the boys.

"Lando thought you might need some rescuing," She giggled when we were alone, and I let out a chuckle under my breath, looking at her with thankful eyes, "You're my hero, really," Alexandra helped me with my back and we then walked back to the guys after having some girl talks about what had just happened with Pierre. When we got to the others, I sat down beside Lando, as the boys were now all sitting around in a circle, talking. I mouthed him a 'Thank you' which he returned with a smile followed by a wink, before getting back into the conversation with the others.

"Hey, what are your plans for the rest of the break then?" Alexandra asked as we were all talking about a trip that she and Charles were gonna go on. "She's going to Australiaaaa!" Lando taunted, and I felt my cheeks get warmer, but rolled my eyes at him. "Oh? Gonna see Piastri?" Pierre asked, sounding almost sour. "Yes, I'm going to Australia on Wednesday. But! Logan is gonna be there too, so the three of us are going to hang out like old times," I said with a huge smile on my face at the thought. "Yeah, I still can't believe him, he's such an idiot!" Lando laughs, causing the rest of the group to look at him with dumbfounded looks, including myself. "Oh, come on! Finally, you're single, and instead of spending the time alone with you, he invites Logan to be a third wheel," He joked, and now all the eyes were on me.

I felt a bit embarrassed by his conclusions and all the attention, so I didn't dare look up or say anything before anyone else did. "Wait? Piastri has a crush on you? I knew it!" Charles exclaimed, making Alexandra giggle. "He does not," I tried, but I knew it was helpless with Lando speaking louder by my side, "Please, Oscar is in love with Yn, okay? Do you know how many times I've had to listen to him ramble on about how he wished that he could be in Max's place? How he would have done it differently. Better," Sitting and listening to this, made me feel some type of way. It was nice to hear, that he did, in fact, have feelings for me, even if he had already told me so before. 

"And how do you feel then, Conner?" Pierre asked, raising an eyebrow. Before I could answer, Alex did, and I was once again thankful that she was there. "She JUST got out of a relationship with Max! Now isn't the time for ANY boy," She said while giving Pierre a look, which seemed to humble him a bit, and he looked down. "Yeah, you're exactly right. I have to respect this breakup and Max's feelings. Jumping into something new right away just wouldn't be right," I added, and Charles and Alex both nodded understandingly.

"Even so, Max was the one who messed up, so don't feel bad if you do end up falling for someone new quicker than expected," Lando said, this time in a calm manner. "Can I ask what happened?" Charles asked, making me look at him and then back to Lando. "I only told them you both broke up, nothing else," He explained, and I understood. I took a deep breath, trying to wire all my thoughts together, so I could explain them in a way that made sense. 

"Well, long story short... Max and I got into an argument - one of many - about my friendship with Oscar, and the feelings that he has for me... It ended with him leaving the same day we had gotten to London for the funeral, and without a word, he went back here, to Monaco..." I paused, not knowing if I should tell them the whole thing, but decided to go on.

"I didn't hear from him for days until I called him the day of the funeral, and he admitted that he had cheated on me..." I see on all their faces, that this was never something they would have expected. They were all shocked, just as much as I was when I found out. Because it wasn't like Max to do something like this. And because Max loved me, more than anything, and everyone knew it.

"So yeah, I arrived this morning to talk it all out, and while I still love him very much, I can't get the image of him with Kelly out of my mind..." I admit, looking down at my hands. "Kelly? His ex-girlfriend Kelly?" Alex asked and I nodded my head. "The cheating is one thing, but just leaving at a time when you need him more than ever, that's fucked up..." Lando mumbled, and I looked at him, to see he was already looking at me with a sad look. "Yeah... That's the thing too... If that's how he handles conflict, I'd rather end it while I can still say that I love and care for him..."

"Thank you so much for today, guys, I had a great time," I smile, as we get back on land and are saying our goodbyes. "It was nice to spend some time with you, I hope you feel better now," Charles said, giving me a hug, followed by Alexandra. "Yeah, remember you can text us anytime if you need to talk," She added, making me smile and hug her a little tighter before letting go. "Take care, Yn, it was nice to see you again," Pierre said when he went for a hug, which I returned. He had finally calmed down and was much more comfortable to be around now. "You too, Pierre," I said and then turned to Lando, who was standing and waiting, "we're going in the same direction, so let's walk together," He suggested, and I nodded with a smile.

We parted ways with the rest before Lando spoke up again, "I hope I wasn't too much today with the Oscar stuff," He said, and I looked at him, taken a bit aback by his statement. His expression was serious, a careful smile on his face as he looked back at me. "Not at all, Lan. I know you mean it in the best way," I smile, nudging his arm a little. "Be honest with me, Yn," He then spoke, and I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue, while our walk came to a halt and he was now standing in front of me. "You have feelings for him too, don't you?" Hearing the same question for the second time today, and I still had no idea how to respond in the right way. My eyes met the floor, as I was thinking it over, but then looked up, after gathering the courage to finally say it out loud.

"I do, Lan, I do..." I speak my truth, which seems to light a spark in Lando's eyes. "But?" He then asked after a while, as I had stopped talking. I take a deep breath and look away, avoiding his eyes, while responding. "But what I had with Max was real, too... I loved him-, I still do. It's not fair to anyone if I act on the feelings I have for Oscar right now..." I explain and then feel Lando lay his hands on my shoulders. I look at him and he gives me a supportive smile. "Stop twisting your mind with what's fair and what's not fair. Just live and follow your heart. Do what makes you the happiest. Max loves you dearly, and he wants you to be happy as well, we both know that. As for Oscar, I bet he would wait a million years for you if he had to,-" My eyes lit up at the latter, a soft smile playing on my lips before he continued. 

"But you also need to let him know if he should or not..." I felt myself frown as he said that, not quite understanding what he meant. "Oscar loves you so much, but if he feels like there's no hope for you and him, eventually he will start to move on, and try and look for happiness elsewhere... I'm not saying you should go and lay all your love on him right now, but maybe just let him know that there is a chance... That is, if there really is..." I nodded my head, beginning to understand what he meant, and honestly, the thought of Oscar moving on with someone else made me feel nauseous. Lando was right, I had to let him know that he had a chance, if he was okay with waiting for me... Oh, how I hoped he was...