Maroon

Threads of fate

Nitara's POV

the smell of mehandi has divided people into two categories
One- who loves it
Two- who hates it

I proudly belong to the first category.

Last night dadi called someone to apply mehandi on the lovely bride to be.

'Dulhan ke haath kabhi khali nahi hone chahiye" that's what she said too

Honestly if I was the one incharge I would've gone with a simple circle. But fortunately I wasn't because the design Adity picked was just perfect.

I don't think I give her enough credit for the times she just knows the future. That's also very interesting. How does she always know the future?

The mehendi turned into this dark maroon color by the morning. The design added exquisite visual charm

Today is my sagai.

The day is finally here.

My sagai

My sagai.

Not a big deal right? That's what I've been telling myself but my other personality which is very problematic to be honest is not letting me gaslight myself.

Maybe I don't want it to be a big deal. Because if it is a big deal it'll be added on the list of
'Big days she couldn't be here'

Denial and ignorance are two very different things.

Ignorance makes sure that you have acknowledged the situation and decided to ignore it. Mostly.

But denial. Denial is knowing the problem but not acknowledging it at all. Sometimes you do that with your feelings and your inner voice because it hurts you. So fucking much.

I chose the path of denial even though there was no scope in the field. I still made it work.

I close my eyes and take a deep, deep breath.

My mind is a very weird place. The thoughts in there just go round and round in a circle. A never ending circle.

His birthday still plays in the back of my mind because I can't seem to find a pause button

And sometimes I'm not even sure I want to.

Our lips almost touched and I hated it. I hated how they did not. I also hated how much I wanted them too.

Being this close to Ishaan is truly dangerous. He does something to my heart I can't really explain. Which is concerning.

But then it's not because falling for your future husband is a good thing right? But what if it's not the same for him. What if I hurt myself at the end of the day?

I don't fucking know how this is supposed to work.

The lehenga I'm wearing is so much prettier than I imagined. The pearls and stone all match my jewelry and my Bangles. It's not much. It's pretty decent.

And that's a good thing.

The net dupatta of the lehenga is a shade lighter and pinned up perfectly.

It's my sagai. I remind myself again. This is happening.

I don't know how it works though. I've usually seen all this happen at the bride's place but this is something dadu had decided. Having the first function of the wedding at Ishaan's place.

So that's where we are.

The whole place is decorated. And I mean decorated. Flowers and colors and everything. Someone really put a lot of effort into designs or even choosing this shit.