Maroon

Off the cliff

Nitara's POV

I'm obsessed with the thought of being me. Just me. I'm addicted to the sound of feeling free. Just free.

I've always wanted to jump off the cliff. Not to die but to live.

I've always wanted to swim in the ocean of relaxation.

"Tara?" Ishaan's voice pulls me back into the ocean. There with the wave.

"Ha-" I look up at him

"You okay?" He asks. He cares.

"I'm not sure" I cleared my throat.

"Okay well let's be sure, shall we?" He walks towards me.

I'm sitting on the edge of the bed and he towers over me. Meeting my eye and sucking me into his hypothesis of eyes. His hands barely, and I mean barely touch my bare shoulder and with just that slow and deathly graze a shiver runs through my body. I suck a breath in and close my eyes as his finger tips my chin towards him and he bends down to meet my lip.

But I move. I fucking move.

I hate you Nitara. That could've been so good nitara I hate you.

Get yourself together first, bitch.

His lips meet my cheek instead and he chuckles, smiling.

Dimples. Dimples. Dimples.

"I'll just-" I get out of the bed.
"Arey- nahi naa" he whines like a child in response
"We have to leave soon"
"No"
"yea"

Smart one.

The words like adventurous and daring and badass and bold were just words used and read about in books by me.

No one and I mean no one would ever use those words to describe me.

Until now that is.

If you ask me I would definitely say there was something in that rain water. Something that made me lose some parts of my brain.

Maybe the important ones.

I close the bathroom door and take a deep breath in.

I have this habit of getting lost in the maze of my brain. Sometimes I feel that everything I do turns into something bad. Ruined. Rotten.

I can't let that happen. Not when this is the only thing that is pure in my life.

I splash the cold water on my face and regret instantly.

Maybe the cold water drama ain't for you

The next thing I do is put my hair up.

"WHAT THE FUCK" I say, out loud. Maybe...probably too loud.

"Tara?" Ishaan knocks on the door with sheer concern in his voice "what's wrong? Everything okay?"

"NO. Mujhe mera phone dedo please" I reply from the other side.
"Sure" the concern still hasn't washed away.

I look in the mirror to check if it was actually there or my eyes hate me too.

"Tumhara phone.." Ishaan prompts
"Ek second" I open the door slightly, just enough for the phone to reach me
"Everything okay?" He asks, again.
"Yes" I reply and close the door. Again.
"Arey?" He responds

Adventurous people in an Indian households don't have a very broad living span. It's dangerous to be adventurous. Fucking stupid. 

"Adityyyyy" I whine through the phone
"Kya hua" she says in a very sleepy voice
"I'm so fucked" I reply, my tone still unchanged
"Hua kya bata to" she replies and then maybe I hear her say something else but it isn't audible.