Perfect Dark | Danmachi

Chapter 1

I've been staring at the same walls for weeks now, a stone grave for my soul. My hope is dwindling with every sunset, waxing or waning moon makes no difference. Freya's master plan of converting me has failed, or I'm just too stupid to give in. After all, they do call me a fool.

This room is a tomb, and I'm a well-dressed mummy. When she visit's I don't know how to act. She presents herself with such an aura that it's honestly so hard to refuse. But I've got to keep my resolve, I must make it back to them someday even if it costs me my life in return for saying goodbye.

I wonder what my goddess is doing, is she well? When Horn exposed the truth of Freya's ill content, I can't say I was surprised. She couldn't charm me, but she did obtain me. If her will is absolute, will I give in to her every whim like the rest of her familia? No, I can't do that. They are waiting for me!

They aren't waiting for me.

I was finally granted permission to leave this prison, to roam the streets as a somewhat free man. Deciding I had to see it for myself, I visited my familia's home to seek the truth. With high hopes that it was all a dream, I pushed open the stone gates and marched right up to the front door. As I began to knock the door opened, and the look of disgust I got was enough to crush my entire soul.

Lily had opened the door with the most disapproving eyes I've ever seen. "What is a member of the Freya familia doing here? Go away." she spat, halfway closing the door to whisper to Welf who was next to her.

My heart sank with confirmation of my worst fears as my legs almost gave out beneath me. Freya familia? No, this can't be! My heart was crying out for them to remember me, but her will would be unshaken. If Lily couldn't remember, and Welf, what about the goddess? Would she remember? 

I wasn't even given a chance. After Lily whispered to Welf that I was at the door, his hand closed the door faster than my mouth could move. Deciding that was as much as my heart could take for the day, I gave in and returned to folkvangr.

Folkvangr, known as the Freya familia home, but also where bloodthirsty warriors are born, I guess is my home now. What I would give to return to the comfort of Hestia's home, and the lighthearted times I spent with all my friends.

Every morning here we fight from sunrise to sunset; to the death. Even if I'm on the verge of dying, close to giving in, one drop of blood left, I'm revived and sent back to fight again. The healers they have are the best a familia could have, and I've seen their power with my own eyes. I was granted permission to leave today, only because I survived from sheer willpower the day before. As the days pass and the heartache stacks, how many more times am I going to be able to pull through, fighting off death?

I don't belong here.

The members of Freya familia have made that well known. They all pine for her love, hoping that someday she will love them back. She does love them, in her own way. I've seen the way she treats me though, and it's very different from the rest of her children. 

Maybe it's because I don't love Freya, that she keeps trying harder every day. 

With a defeated long face I crossed the field of Folkvangr, seeing the blood that stained the grass from today's battle. One that I didn't have to participate in. Even though I was granted permission to leave, maybe now I regret it. Would it have been better to stay here, fighting for my life, free of the heartache I now possessed from learning what I thought were lies, are the truth?

I'd rather fucking die.

Up to now, nothing has compared to this. Even being stranded on the lower floors of the dungeon staring death in the eyes with Ryu, nothing is more terrifying than being forgotten. She's stolen everything from me, and I'd rather die than to give in to her charm.

"Bell, Freya would like to see you." Hedin says as he stands by the front doors.

Has he been waiting for me to return all this time? Knowing I would come back with my heart in pieces? I tried to muster a halfhearted smile as I passed him. I didn't really feel like rushing to the top of the tower to visit the goddess, no wonder all her children hated me. If they were given the opportunity, they would drop everything they were doing and run at full speed just to get a hint of affection from her.

Ottar stood guard as he always did, awaiting my arrival like a statue. Sometimes I'm half convinced he is made of stone. I haven't quite figured out how to interact with him, though. A level 7 adventurer, he might be the strongest I've ever met. I wonder, how is Aiz?

He opens the door for me with a look of distaste, and I breeze through trying to act like nothing is wrong. Can she tell? Gods must be different than humans, can she see right through me?

"Bell, come sit next to me."

I nod as I make my way to the loveseat. Her skin looks like pearls as the moonlight shines in from the large window. Being a goddess of beauty, she really did live up to her name. Her lavender eyes lingered on me as I sat, trying not to feel uncomfortable under her gaze.

"You wanted to see me?" I ask, knowing all too well the true nature of her request.

"How was your day?"

The question I really didn't want her to ask. I felt the cold stares in my back when I was out earlier. I know she sent her shadows to follow me, she knows damn well what I did today. Why do we have to play this game?

"I tried to visit some old friends today, but it seems they don't remember me. Am I crazy?" I ask, my brain in shambles. How am I supposed to talk to her? If I belong to Freya familia as they have all tried to drill into my brain, why do I feel so out of place?

"Ah, this again." She scoots a tad closer, which makes me tense up. "Do I need to remind you of the illness that occurred when we found you on the lower levels?"

I wanted to sigh. I'm tired of the game, truly I am. They didn't find me on the lower levels, Ryu and I made it out without any help from the Freya family. But that is the story she is sticking with.

"You are right, I must be crazy." I let out a nervous laugh, hoping to breeze over the mood. I'm playing a dangerous game here, and her mood always seems to change when I poke at her plot holes. Thank God I wasn't brain washed like the rest of her family, I might just be as soulless as the rest of them.

She puts her hand on my thigh, as if that would comfort me. I can tell she is doing everything a woman should be doing, so why is it that instead of making me feel butterflies, it makes me feel uneasy? Is it because I know in my heart that I love someone else?