They say one is the loneliest number.
I'm constantly surrounded by a horde of passive aggressive high-level adventurers, that hate my guts. If only I could sacrifice everything I've loved up to this point, and throw it all away, maybe they would see me differently. I didn't abandon them, and I won't.
I must keep telling myself I won't, because last night I felt as if I was almost at my breaking point. Even with the battles I've experienced out on the training grounds, nothing compares to the loss of everything I've ever loved. Last night was awful, and unfortunately, I'll probably have to repeat this same cycle until I give in.
The sun beamed through the curtains, signifying that it was a new day. I'll seize this day and take out my frustrations on the battlefield. Or so I thought.
Wearing the Freya family crest, I made my way down to the large dining hall. I'm not sure these castle walls will ever start feeling familiar. Running my hand along the wall as I walk like a child, Hedin sees me and starts to shout his detest.
"Boy, stop rubbing your grime on the walls. That isn't the behavior that is befitting of the Freya familia."
Yeah, yeah. I'm feeling rather delinquent today. Normally I would bow and apologize eighty times before looking up with an apologetic face. But today is different, and I'm trying to balance a fine line between my sanity and happiness without losing myself; even though I already feel myself slipping away.
"Ok, sir." I say in a bratty tone as I salute. Who am I becoming?
Hedin scoffs and decides to ignore me this time, knowing what I went through yesterday. After everything I've been through with him, I'm thankful he's letting me slide.
At breakfast I'm sitting next to Hedin, barely picking at my food. Taking notice, he leans down close to my ear and whispers something that sends chills to my bones.
"You better eat up today child, Freya has entrusted me with your battle training."
As he pulls away, I feel his hot breath linger like a death sentence. I'm not hungry but I force myself to eat a few more bites. I'm terrified of Hedin, and I know that after yesterday I'm being punished for denying the goddess.
I miss my daggers.
Even though the ones I hold are of the highest quality, crafted with my fighting style in mind, I can't get used to them. The sun is beating down on the bloody grass of Folkvangr, and I'm sweating bullets before my real battle has even begun.
Hedin stares at me from what seems like a mile away, carefully analyzing how weak I am. I can't find my footing, and the daggers feel so foreign in my hands, but I'm really trying. Channeling all my resolve into my strikes, I'm barely even coming close to him.
As daunting as it is, I'm enjoying myself. For the first time in weeks since I've been here, I've got a smile on my face. That's it, I really have lost it.
I'm dancing through other warrior's battles trying to land a hit close on Hedin, but every time I approach him, it feels like he's instantly in a better position than me. He lands a strike, nearly killing me, and I'm on the ground gasping for air.
But I never lost my smile.
Heith is on the verge of being out of mana, and finally raises her hand to signal for Hedin to stop. The sun has begun to set, casting a blood red shadow on the battlefield. "That's enough, Hedin. Anymore and you'll kill him."
With a sinful grin Hedin moves closer to where I'm half dead on the ground. Even though my eyes are closed, I'm still conscious enough to hear him whisper as he hovers over my somewhat dead body. "I look forward to tomorrow, little rookie."
It shakes my body to the core. Not because I'm down to my last surviving blood cell, but because that was a nickname I received from being in the Hestia family. Even though everyone in the Freya family denied I was ever in the Hestia family, was this his way of sending me a single shred of hope?
Maybe he meant for it to have the opposite effect, but as the feeling returned to my hands, I balled them into fists. A fire felt like it was engulfing my body as Heith used the last bit of her mana to breathe life back into my broken bones and open wounds.
"I'm sorry about him." Heith said with a smile full of pity. "You've gone through a lot today, are you going to be able to make it to dinner by yourself?" She asks, and I'm thankful for her kindness. Out of all of the members of Freya's familia, Heith shows me the most respect. Does she also know that this is all bullshit?
Maybe they all do, and they are simply roleplaying along with Freya. One happy fucking family, huh.
Struggling to stand I give her a halfhearted smile before bowing. "Thank you Heith, you truly are one hell of a healer." My voice is worn and ragged from fighting all day, but she smiles and wraps her arm around my waist to support me as I drag my dead leg behind me.
"I can bring your dinner to your room, if that would be better?" Heith asks as we approach the large double doors.
Honestly, I don't want to deal with the looks of envy and hatred while I'm eating but given the blows I took to my stomach today, I'm really not hungry. "I would greatly appreciate that." I say, wishing it could be this way every day.
We reach my room and Heith helps me sit down before she removes her arm. "Sit tight, I'll be back shortly."
Her warm words feel familiar, who do they remind me of? This room on the other hand, doesn't feel like mine still. Weeks pass, and nothing has changed. My stuff is here, but it isn't my stuff. Whose room was this anyway?
YOU ARE READING
Perfect Dark | Danmachi
Fanfiction*Light novel spoilers* She took everything He lost everything Will he be saved before he turns into the villain?
