Perfect Dark | Danmachi

Chapter 10

Do you know what it's like? To be afraid of your own mind? I'm starting fires inside, and it's too late to turn back the tides.

I'm still standing.

I can't run away this time.

"Face me!" Ottar yells as I lose my composure in the middle of our fight. The weight of his blows has only grown stronger since we began, and no matter how many flames I launch in his direction I can't be cleansed. A battle that can't be won, I'm constantly on the brink of death but I can't give up.

I grit my teeth and try a different grip on my dagger, but nothing seems to give. I'm still fighting with the tools provided to me, and it feels like bringing a knife to a gunfight. Again and again, I try to reposition and fight him straight on, but it's like staring down the barrel of a gun.

"I'm over it!" I yell before throwing my dagger down into the dirt. My head isn't in it today, and the willpower to keep fighting Ottar at the status I'm at is just pouring salt into my wounds. Hestia, I need you. Now more than ever.

Ottar walks over to me and holds his sword to my throat. Before I might have felt a chill run down my spine and beg him for mercy, but I feel nothing. I cock my head and smirk up at him, blood running from the corner of my mouth. "Don't give me a shallow hope for death, that would be too easy."

He didn't appreciate my honesty.

"Don't be so cocky, brat." He dropped his sword to the ground and with one swift motion he knocked me out cold.

I woke up just after sunset, instantly feeling her presence. I would have rather been alone, why does she do this? Would things be different if she didn't force herself onto me?

"Bell? Are you okay?" She spoke her sweet poison as she stroked my hair.

I let out a groan and pulled my knees to my chest. I wasn't in pain, that was the least of my worries. I hated waking up here, with her. I would have rather woken up in my own pool of blood in the dirt than here in her cage.

"I'm fine."

"Is there something wrong with your daggers? Do you need new ones made?"

I shake my head. She knows damn well that isn't the issue here. "I want my daggers back, Freya." My tone is cold and thick, as if that would change her mind. Freya isn't one to bend or break, she is going to stand her ground until the day it disappears from beneath her feet.

Her grip tightens around a handful of my hair, and I feel discomfort. "Now, now Bell! We have been over this so many times."

I clench my jaw to hold back my words, but they force their way out. "Fucking spare me Freya. I'm not buying your bullshit, and you won't ever be able to convince me that your lies are absolute." I swatted her hand away from my head, tired of her empty embrace. "I refuse to be your hero."

Her hand lingered above my head like it was stung. She finally withdrew at some point and stood, leaning over on the bed. "Lie to yourself all you like, there will come a time that you will understand and accept your role." Her hushed shallow threat fell on deaf ears.

I finally let out a long sigh as I heard the door close behind her. I might regret the consequences of my actions with Ottar tomorrow, but for now I'm going to enjoy my freedom while I have it.

The Benevolent Mistress really had become the only place I felt at ease. Freya wouldn't dare step foot in Mia's tavern, and for some reason I still held on to the smallest bit of hope that I would see my family there.

My wish had been granted.

Welf, Lilli, Mikoto and Haruhime were all present at the table furthest away. Their glares were like surface cuts, just shallow enough to burn but not enough to bleed. I had to look away, I could feel a fit of rage swelling inside me.

After finishing my spoils, I peeled myself away from temptation. I wanted more than anything to march right up to their table and talk to them, even if it meant shouldering their harsh words and judgement.

The Freya familia doesn't have the best reputation. Known for being crude and corrupt, most townspeople turn a blind eye because of their sheer strength. Gods on the other hand, kneel at Freya's feet because of her beauty, they are wrapped around her little finger.

It didn't matter if you were a deity or an adventurer, everyone fell under her delusion. Silently bowing at her every command, she held their hearts by a single thread.

Once outside, my collar was grabbed from behind. I was caught off guard, and felt as if my flame was already charging, charring my hand with blind hysteria.

"I don't know what we ever did to you, but you need to leave us alone." Lilli's eyes were filled with an undying will to keep her friends safe.

I understood it more than anyone else, if only she knew. If I could cry out to her and break the barrier of the spell, would she remember me? If only, Lilli.

I felt the flames of hatred burn in my hand as I held the flame with my eyes closed. Her words cut through any defense I had left standing, and I didn't want to hurt her. But the flame grew the more her words seeped in. She wanted me to disappear.

I sighed deeply, trying to suppress the animosity. I regained control, the fire in my hand blew out like a match. I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around her, letting my tears soak into her shoulder for as long as she let me. "I'm so sorry." I whispered, before I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Bell." Hestia's voice was warm like a fireplace in the dead of winter. She pulled me away from Lilli and led me by hand to a place only she and I knew.