Perfect Dark | Danmachi

Chapter 16

I don't know if I'll ever be ready to face her.

That night I had told Aiz my true feelings for her, under the assumption that it wouldn't matter. That she wouldn't remember.

Did she actually hear me?

I'm back to normal for the most part, well sort of. Physically, I'm fine. Under the surface, I'm still trying to sort out everything that has happened. There are things that I feel like I'm ignoring because they hurt to think about.

"Bell?" Lili cracks open the door to my room and quietly steps in. With tears in her eyes, she hugs me from behind and cries into the small of my back. "I'm so sorry."

It's the same thing every time she visits. I wish I could give her words of encouragement, that everything is okay.

But I'm still not truthfully okay. I've got to get over this hazy feeling, I don't want to drag them down into despair along with me.

I turn around and lower myself to her height and pull her into a warm embrace.

"Lili, it's okay. I know I've said it so many times... but I mean it."

Lili makes an attempt to dry her eyes on my shoulder before she pulls back to study my expression. "I told Mr. Bell to disappear. I never meant that."

I manage my best smile as I wipe a tear from her eye. "I know you didn't mean that." I feel like I owe her more, she needs more to be able to get passed this. "I would be lying if I said that I wasn't hurt, in the moment. I carried your words with me and in turn, did terrible things to you and Welf both. I regret everything, Lili, I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?" I asked as her tears started up again.

As we are sharing this moment of regret and sadness, Welf storms in and wraps his arms around us both. "I'M SO SORRY BELL!" He yells in our ears, holding us in his arms.

Even if this wasn't meant to be a happy moment, I'm smiling through the heartache I uncovered. As I pulled away from them both, I took each of their hands and held them with a firm grip in hopes they would hold my words to their true value.

"Everything is going to be okay, now that I have you both back." Through a teary smile, I gave both of their hands a firm squeeze before letting go.

"We can get through anything, together." I pressed reassurance, hoping this would be the last time that we visited the topic. I know they are worried for me, but the constant walking on eggshells around me is exhausting. I want to feel normal again, and hopefully this brings some closure.

After Lili is satisfied enough to leave the room, Welf turns to me with a heartfelt smile. "I've been working on something; would you do me the honor of coming to take a look?"

I haven't left my room apart from using the bathroom since I've been home. I longed to feel the sun on my skin, but truthfully, I've been a little scared to leave.

I don't want to live in fear, but I also don't want to be dragged back down to the depths of hell.

Letting out a deep sigh, I nod slowly and turn to see Welf's expression lit up with excitement. "I'd love to."

I owe him that much.

He walks slowly with me through the halls and to the back door, pausing before opening it. "Bell, you are safe now." He reassures me, then opens the back door.

We crossed the courtyard to his blacksmith shop, the sun causing me to squint. Even if I can't see momentarily, the warmth beaming down on my skin feels like before. A missing piece of home returned; I feel excitement swell as we reach the door to the shop. It's been so long since I've been able to see one of Welf's creations that I paused for a moment to soak in the feeling.

This feels like before. Before everything I loved became everything I lost.

I put a hand over my heart and smiled, as Welf covered something on his desk. "I've been working on this since you came home. I finally finished it this morning." His eyes lit up as he turned around, anxiously waiting for me to see his creation. He waved, motioning for me to come closer.

As I approached the table, I felt the excitement grow when I realized I had to uncover his surprise. "What is it?" I asked, putting my hand on the sheet that covered the desk.

"You'll see."

I pulled the sheet up, revealing a two handed dull black greatsword. My eyes lit up at the sheer size, as I let my hand run along the blade. This was different than his normal work, everything Welf had made for me had a brilliant color or shade to it. This weapon was void of color, but his craftsmanship was in the details.

"Truly, breathtaking." I smiled, removing my hand from the blade. "Who is it for?"

"You." Welf grinned from ear to ear, motioning for me to pick it up.

"Me?" I sat puzzled for a moment, as guilt creeped into my mind. "I couldn't, I can't." I started to stutter, before I finally put a hand over my mouth in shock.

Welf laughed lightly, before he closed his eyes with a smile. "This isn't because of what happened, or a way to fix it. I poured all my feelings into it, so yes... You have to accept it." He shook his head before placing his hands on my shoulders. "There is something really special about this one, Bell."

"They are all special." I smiled, feeling a little overwhelmed by his gesture.

"Pick it up, go ahead." Welf urged me, stepping back.

Letting excitement guide me, I felt the grip of the sword with both hands before a single rune lit up in a silver blue hue. I had never owned a greatsword before. Sure, I'd borrowed a large sword or two so far, but never have I had one to call my own.

Tears welled up in my eyes as I felt the perfect balance of the blade. "Welf... Thank you."

Welf nodded, his arms crossed on his chest. "The rune is attuned to you. In a way it is like the Hestia Knife. I wanted to craft you something, that would never betray you."

I lowered the blade and set it down on the desk again, before stepping forward to hug Welf. "Thank you..." There was so much more I wanted to say, but I was overwhelmed in the moment that a thank you was all I could manage.

"I can't wait for you to try it. Maybe... we can return to the dungeon sometime soon?"

The dungeon. It's been so long since I had the option of wandering into the dungeon. My free will has returned, and it's almost as if I'm acting like I'm still a prisoner. I'm sure he's noticed it, and this was his way of guiding me out of the slump I've been in.

Welf, my brother. My best friend.

My heart was slowly starting to mend.

"I can't wait."