Perfect Dark | Danmachi

Chapter 12

I could barely sleep last night.

I'm scared. Not of what I'm going to do, but of what the repercussions might be. I don't want to hurt anyone, but I might have to. Hestia, I will return home to you.

I'm worried, and anyone that truly knew me could take one look at my face and see through me. I'm banking on the fact that no one here has paid enough attention to me to be able to read me. I can feel sweat already dripping from the back of my neck and I've only just put my boots on.

After calming my heart to a normal pace, I steeled my resolve and left the room. I have hopes, it's the last time I'll ever have to return to this gilded cage.

There is one thing that absolutely can't happen today. Normally in my fights with Ottar, I silently pray that he will knock me out so I'm sleeping straight through Freya's time with me. No matter what, I must endure every hit without losing consciousness, so I don't lose my only chance.

I have to get out of here.

As if all my prayers were answered, once I reached the bottom of the stairs, I wasn't greeted by Ottar. Hedin was waiting for me, a twisted smile on his face. "Little rookie." He patted my shoulder in a devious way, "Your training is with me today." He winked, and I've never been so thankful to fight Hedin in my life.

Despite not having to train with Ottar, Hedin didn't exactly take it easy on me. I've never been so tired in my life, and each strike of lightning seemed to get closer and closer to me. As if he was testing my true strength, each bolt that grazed my body felt like my flesh was being torn away from the bone.

Heaving my lungs out, I stood over a pool of my own blood. I wanted to drop to my knees and admit defeat, but I knew better than that. Hedin only has respect for those that fight to the death. I took a deep breath, swirled the dagger around to a reverse grip and took off towards him.

His lightning strikes didn't relent. The faster I ran the faster he would cast, his rain of lightning lit up the now darkening sky. There was no cover from his attacks, but I was circling back in. It was like he had eyes in the back of his head and could read every my every move.

A bolt struck the ground and caused me to jump in pain, feeling my right ankle start to simmer as I took off in a different direction. As another bolt came down, I jumped through the air with a twist, landing on my feet to his right side. I slashed at his face with my left hand, and as he caught it before it touched skin, I used all my power to swipe my right hand against his cheek, drawing blood.

I closed my eyes in relief after seeing blood trickle down his face. He still had my arm in a tight grip, but his face said it all. He released me and stepped back for a moment, probably realizing that something had changed since the last time we fought. After catching my breath, he stepped forward and held out his hand to help me stand up.

"Bell Cranel, you just might be ready." He said quickly under his breath, before I felt eyes on my back. The warriors had stopped their own fights, eyes wide in shock seeing the blood on Hedin's cheek. From his breast pocket, he pulled a handkerchief to wipe off any remnants of my victory.

I had no time to celebrate my success.

Directly after the fight I had no excuse not to eat dinner with the rest of the familia. My mind didn't have time to idle, and thanks to the fight today, there was plenty of conversation going on at the table. I had finally managed to graze Hedin, and apparently it was no small feat.

It was time.

I was suffering from arrhythmia as I walked the long dark path up the stairs to Freya's chambers. I wasn't ready. I felt as if I'd been stalling the entire day up to this point, and now I was destined to choke. At the top of the stairs, I put my hands on the door and let my head hang as I tried to calm the terror inside me.

I knew what I had to do.

"Bell." Freya's velvety voice soothed my crippling anxiety, just for a moment. I joined her on the couch, trying to remember to breathe normally. I must be extremely careful that I don't give myself away.

"I heard of your accomplishments today, I am proud of you, Bell." She smiles, putting her hand on my thigh. Today is going to be different. Today I'm going to let her in.

I blush, trying to shy away from her compliments. "It... It really wasn't anything special. I just got lucky." I smiled timidly, trying to compel her.

She grabbed my hands I had been waving, like I was swatting away her kind words. I was walking a fine line. I didn't want to be too aggressive, but I also didn't want to melt into her embrace. I had to maintain my composure.

My mind was screaming, agonizing over what to do. I had gone over the scenario in my mind countless times last night, to the point of exhaustion. Nothing could prepare for the real thing.

"Freya?" I finally said after a long moment of silence. It was time. I had to try to execute my plan, and I was scared to death that it wouldn't work.

She leaned closer to my face as if she were going to kiss me, her hot breath tickling my bottom lip. I grabbed her hand, turning her palm over with delicacy as I let a tear escape my eye. Pulling the dagger she had made for me out of my thigh holster, I set it in her hand and began my final plea. "Freya, kill me." My voice broke as I removed my hand.

I could see it in her eyes, my words finally reached her. Something broke inside of her, and she tossed the dagger aside and wrapped her arms around me.

For the first time, I felt the goddesses' tears soak into my shoulder. Now was not the time to feel remorse, I had to keep my mind clear. Guilt was creeping up from my heart as I wrapped my left arm around her, and carefully with my right hand I reached for the Hestia knife.