WHAT IF (AN UNREQUITED LOVE)

Chapter 18

I don't know how to say this but I know that you would not believe it if I said that we almost had a relationship with Martin. I know a lot of people would say and they keep on gossiping about us. Alam ko na napaka imposibleng mangyari. Alam ko na walang maniniwala. It did not work out, but we did not happen, either. Masaya siyang kasama pero... Nevermind. Wala na akong update sa kaniya ngayon but that's okay. We've been together since high school. I know what his dreams are even though we're not legal to his foster parents. They never treat him as trash so I'm happy for him because after all, he was very lucky to his parents. One year from now we are going to see each other again. I'm not expecting anything. Though, I hope it's all clear to him. He's a friend. I didn't want him to feel bad about our situation. That's it. I saw it coming. It happened in my eyes. It's just that, I couldn't explain the feeling of seeing blood.

I wonder what makes someone become different from a criminal among a victim? What makes someone different from being a criminal? Someone who has held up deeply in my heart, can become a criminal. Either way, someone unrelated can commit a crime.

If he's still a criminal. Who can I find my refuge? Someone who's got warmer hands. When I remember someone who has put the world on their shoulders, where shall they run into?

Everyone has their own standard of beliefs. Moral code of ethics. Human rights. Justice. ROTC. Partriarchal. Ethics. Morality. Security. Morale. Table etiquette. Sophistication. Uprightness. Tact. Artificial Intelligence. Code of ethics. Integrity. Honesty. Honorable. Truth. Military discipline. Military courtesy.

I don't know where to run into. I'm running in the woods. I only have my flashlight. I'm losing my sight. I only wish that the Lord will guide me on my way.

I'm praying for the rain to mediate. Still running into the woods along with the big bushes and thorny leaves, sly hisses of a snake and noisy background, the woods did not stop from raining.

I'm praying for the angels to help me find a way out of this town. I've been running fast for almost an hour now. I want to get away from him. From his grip. From his suffocating choke.

It's getting harder to breathe. Gusto kong sabihin na ginawa ko ang lahat para maging mabuting tao at estudyante. But then reality hits me, someone from the back snatched me away from him.

A cracking sound of a pistol gun was very evident. It was a gun shot. The one and only Leo held me in his arms.

Then, there was blood. I covered my ears from the noisy sound of a pistol. He shot the bullet at my father's shoulders, and then knees. I saw him taken down by his knees. Galing kaliwa papunta sa kanan. I couldn't hardly breathe. The air in my esophagus is hard to get through with my throat. Seconds by seconds have passed away, I have grown to hate this man. Who are you? Now that we have seen each other face to face, heat from my face has transferred into my hands then slapped him on his chest.

"Ayoko na sa'yo! Hayop ka!" I shouted at him. I grabbed my fists to punch his face.

Maybe, I did not have to say those mean words to him. Maybe, he only wants to save me.

He watched me, again. But this time, my heart was pounding too fast. He saved my life.

The policemen showed up and the medical nurses. They carried him then put him in bed. The inverted ambulance opened the back door. Napaupo nalang ako. Ano nalang ang gagawin ko?

We are currently in a hospital. They immediately put him with the stethoscope then check his heartbeat, and pulse. The ray tube TV (Television) says that the lines are the signifier for his life.

"May buhay pa ba?" says the Doctor.

"Check the lines, please."

"Heartbeat rate 60 bpm."

Then the doctor asked for an aid kit and syringe.

"Blood type O."

"Two bags of blood, please, move."

The nurses try to take over the place. They try to test him with the CBC machine. Other than a shot from a bullet from Leo. The doctor declares that he is not diagnosed with a life-long disease.

Days after that happened, he was transferred to the National Government Police Station to appear at the court appealing. Some days my father is okay, some days he's gone crazy. The judge has decided to take the society's side, guilty for persona non grata.

It's probably 10 o'clock in the evening. I've never been this happy that I'm now free. Later, I know I'm going to meet my mother. She's still my mother after all.