Sweet love (Kim Seungmin)

Chapter 18

- Don't you want to sit down? – Seungmin asks me, pointing to the chair next to him.

Do I want to sit down? No. I just want to run away, go to bed and never come out again. Can I do that? Unfortunately, life is stupid and doesn't like to see me happy and at peace.

Can I refuse to sit down? Yes. But I've already made the boy suffer enough by ignoring him for so long. So, I sit down. Next to him? Nope. What question. Obviously, I went to sit in one of the chairs furthest from him, that is on the other side of the table.

I look at him, something the boy was already doing. We stay like that for a few seconds, until he finally decides to start the conversation.

I really don't want to be here. I can already feel sweat forming on my armpits and on my forehead. This light does me no favors. I want to leave.

- Do you feel better?

Better? Was I supposed to be feeling bad?

He must have noticed my inner confusion, because he added: - Since Anna said you couldn't come because you weren't feeling very well ...

- AH! That. Yeah. I was in a bit of a bad mood, you know? Stomach pain and so on.

Good one, Theresa. It doesn't look like you're lying at all.

- But you are feeling better now, right?

- It depends on what you think better means. My stomach doesn't hurt anymore, which is good, – as if it ever did – but, on the other hand, I've just been kidnapped from my sweet and lovely appartement by four crazy people, which I don't consider to be a very good thing.

- Right ... there's that .... I'm really, really sorry. If I had known this was what Minho was planning on doing, I would have tried to stop him.

- Don't worry. It's not your fault – I pause to think – If we're going to be realistic, I should be the one apologizing.

I look everywhere except the boy's face.

- Why's that?

Why? Because I have been treating you like shit these past weeks, without giving you any explanation and you still ask why I'm apologizing?

- For ignoring you. I'm a horrible person!

I put my hands over my face so he can't look at me. Who does something like that?

- Don't say that. I am most certain that you had good reasons for doing so.

Yeah... about that...

- I understand if you don't want to say it, but if I did something wrong, I'd like to know what, specifically, so I can apologize to you and so on.

So... how do I explain to the guy that I have a huge crush on that I ignored him because I found out he has a girlfriend without him realizing that I like him? And that I may or may not have serious mental problems? I'm telling you, I doubt it's normal for a person to do this if they do not have some type of brain disability.

- Honestly, it's stupid. I'm stupid. I don't have a good reason why I did it. I'm stupid. Forget I did anything. Just pretend nothing happened.

With that I get up from the chair. And I walk to the door. I can't stay here any longer, alone with him. I hate confrontations. I just want to go to bed, please.

- So, I see you tomorrow, or any other day when we see each other again.

I put my hand on the handle, ready to open the door, but I'm interrupted when a hand ties the wrist of the one that isn't being used. I am pulled back and forced to turn around.

- Wait, Theresa. We're not done talking yet. You can't run away like that. Not when I still feel like we're not okay. You didn't ignore me for nothing. You must have a reason to do it so, don't lie to me.

Now I can't even look at him. The idiot just called me a liar. How disrespectful... and truthful. I am a liar! OMG! What I have become.

I must be completely red. I feel like crying. Why did the boy I like the most in the world (sorry, brother, but let me be dramatic) have to be with someone else? Why don't I know how to make good decisions? Why do I put myself in situations I hate?

I hate drama. I hate being bad and disappointing others. I hate making other people feel worried about me and sad. And I ended up doing it all in one way or another.

I am horrible!

- Theresa. Look at me.

I don't look. I'm already upset enough with myself. I don't need to suffer anymore and look at his beautiful face, which at this moment must be full of written disappointment.

- Theresa.

I won't look. Stop insisting.

Then, out of nowhere, I feel his other hand, the one that wasn't holding my wrist, on my chin, pulling it up. What he probably wasn't expect is for my eyes to be closed. Ah! Take that!

- Theresa, open your eyes.

Ok. Maybe that's the best thing to do. What am I? Ten years old? It's time to be responsible and accept the consequences of my actions.

I open my eyes. And I feel like closing them again.

The most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen in my life are fixed on mine. They are sad. I'm such a terrible person.

- Please tell me why you were ignoring me – he whispers.

The words seem to be stuck in my throat. In a way, I want to end this and just admit everything, but in another way, I don't know how to admit that everything.

- Theresa...

- Because I saw you with another girl – I finally admit, also in a whisper.

I notice how his eyebrows come together, indicating that he doesn't understand what I wanted to say.

- You saw me with another girl? – I nod my head – When?

- On Monday, two weeks ago, and during the weekend.

I look down again, as he is no longer putting pressure on my face to look up.

I feel him getting closer to me, as if that was even possible. I feel his hand, which was on my chin a few seconds ago, touch my arm, move it down and, when it reaches my hand, intertwine our fingers.

- And why did you, when you saw me with a girl, decide to ignore me?

He's very, very close. Like A LOT. I feel his breath on my skin. The only thing I can smell with my nose is his scent. I'm going crazy. I need space, now. I need to get away from him to see if my brain, lungs and heart can work properly again.

- I ...

... like you.

Next chapter...