My Princess {BangChan x Reader}

Chapter 15

Smut maybe🧐🧐🧐

I love you my princess.

Princess?

He called me his princess

And said he

Loves me?

My heart was tainted by his words. I know that I just kissed him, but love is something else. You must never play games with love, because she knows no bounds, however love knows damn well life has been cruel. She is a little more human than the rest of us I guess you could say. However, I fear he doesn't understand the intensity of his words.
This man doesn't even know me enough to call me a friend. I came to the conclusion that he doesn't know what love is, so he says things so easily. I mean I don't either but I must say I know a little more. He's so reckless with his words.
He slammed me on the bed and dug his head in the crook of my neck and draped his arm around my waist. He said nothing afterwards. Neither did I. I just laid there lifeless. I couldn't move. He didn't make me uncomfortable. In fact it was calming. I felt his chest rise up and down. The silence rang in my ears. I started thinking about my mother. I was only allowed to see her every so often. My father was a controlling man. He didn't want me and my mother to grow attached to each other. He was always a bitter man.
Everyone romanticizes the mafia life. But no one knows the suffering women go through. I don't even know my mothers last name. And I'm not respected. Their is no escape.
I let out a few tears.
I feel so much grief living in my heart. The misery of life is so agonizingly painful.
The hum of silence fills my ears once more. Chan is fast asleep. He is peaceful. I was so restless. I just kept thinking about my mother and Ms. Choi. I still worry for them. Who knows just what my father could be doing to them behind closed doors. "What's wrong butterfly?" I hear a raspy voice say. 'butterfly? He thinks of the weirdest nicknames' I say to myself. "I'm so sorry did I wake you?" I said wiping my tears. "No what's wrong honey?" He says pulling my body even closer to his. I completely melt into his arms. I start sobbing historically. "What's wrong my love?!" He says in a shaky voice. He so confused. "I'm so sorry! I'm just so scared." I say though many voice cracks. "Scared of what?" He says stroking my hair. "My father." I let out hesitantly. He doesn't say anything. Instead he hums me a song. He stokes my hair, and presses my head closer to his chest. I feel his chest vibrate and his heart beat.
This feeling, his touch, his voice, his existence, is utter bliss.
Before I knew it I was fast asleep.

6:30AM

I wake up to an empty bed. It's cold. The whole house if filled with a miserable silence. My eyes scam the room. There is so trace of Chan. Finally I get up and wash up and change. Afterwards i head down stairs. Im greeted by Felix. "Good morning mate." He says with a slight smile. " Good morning sir." I reply bowing. He does the same kind of confused. "Wheres my dear husband." I say almost emotionless. "Working. I'm your new body guard. He ordered me to take you out today. Anywhere you wanna go I got you." He says while fixing his hair. "Yes sir" I said looking down. 'working huh?'. I new all to well what that meant. He's out there commiting the cruelest most dehumanizing, unforgivable crimes. I fear him. Correction I fear the things he is capable of. "We're do you wanna go?" He asked sitting down on one of the kitchen chairs. "To go out to eat." I reply hesitantly. "K c'mon." Felix says heading to the door. He opens it for me and walks me to the car opening the door. "Hyunjin is coming to join us." He states turning the car on and driving out the driveway. I don't reply. We go and pick Hyunjin up and drive to a near by restaurant. All three of us eat. I noticed man staring at us. He's wearing all black and a matching mask with light brown eyes. Every now and then I'd make eye contact with him. Felix noticed him looking and signaled for Hyunjin to look to. I don't think much of it. Finally we finish eating and leave. Hyunjin takes a picture of the man. I don't know why, but ehh what can you do? Felix opens the door and I get in hyunjin follows after. Felix gets in the drivers side and not long after we drive away. "where are we going now?" I ask quietly. "Home, me and Felix have something we need to take care of. However Changbin is coming over." Hyunjin said. I think to myself for a second. Have I met Changbin before? Idk. We finally make it to the house. I go upstairs and change into some of my sweatpants and one of Chan's black shirts. It smells like him. I lay down in bed. I don't get up for the rest of the day. I don't eat. I don't drink anything. I don't do anything. I just lay there. After a while I fall asleep. Suddenly I feel the bed dip down and I hear Chan sigh. He wraps his body around me and starts kissing my neck. I gasp in shock. "What's wrong?" He says continuing to kiss my neck. "Please I'm not ready yet " I say hesitantly. It feels so good but I'm just not ready. "Okay" he says. He stops. He keeps his arm around me. Soon we both fall asleep.

6:35Am

I wake up to an empty bed again. I don't get up this time. I stay in the bed. I don't move.
The hours pass yet I still lay in bed. I have nothing to do, nor live for. I fall asleep after a while. I woke up a few hours later. I had to admit I missed him. I missed his presence.

I stayed in bed all day. I never got up. I didn't eat anything all day.
This time Chan never came home. The bed felt empty with just me. He must be mad at me I said to myself. I started to cry.

And that's how it was. I hadn't seen Chan in months. I missed him. I stayed in my bed for months. Only getting up to shower and change. I didn't eat. I ate once a day every other day. And that's only because Felix and Hyunjin forced me to. Over the course of 4 months, Felix and Hyunjin come over everyday. I got to know them for who they are.
Felix is the sweetest boy ever. He is so kind. I found out that he was Lee knows brother and Chan's cousin. I had never actually met Lee know except for that time in the hotel. But that didn't count.
Hyunjin on the other hand was an old friend of Chan's. He was so lively and artistic. He romanticizes life in such a breath taking way.
Both of those boys grew to become close friends of mine.
How ever I could tell that they were VERY good friends with each other.
I saw the way Hyunjin looked at Felix. And the way Felix smiled at Hyunjin. They liked no loved each other.

I fell into a depression. It was so utterly draining. I'm glad I had Felix and Hyunjin they saved my life. They brought me joy.

I stayed alone without my husband for 4 and a half months. I missed him. I missed his touch. He's voice. His heart beat. His laugh. I missed his entire being. I cried every night. I know he was out working yet I felt guilty. Maybe he works so much because I'm not enough to make him stay.i though to myself.

And that was my life. 

So empty.

So cold

So lonely.

So uttered lonely.

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Sorry for taking long. BUT I GOT ACCEPTED INTO ALL OF THE SCHOOLS I APPLIED FOR. WOOHOOOO. Im going to be busy so I might not post often. I'll try tho. I love youuuuu💜. Please vote and comment.💋