I'm Just a Loser: A BigBang Fanfiction

Los Angeles

LAX had always been a really exciting place for me, usually people said the opposite and that they hated the people-filled, weird smelling airport, but I always found it to be a really exciting place. The crowds of people and dirty floors had a sense of happiness to it. At least to me... I guess because the first time I went on a big trip when I was little, I flew out of this airport. Except this time I was not excited to be here. In fact I don't think I could ever see it in the same light again.
"Bree, which baggage claim are we at?" Ha asks me tapping my shoulder as we push our way through the masses of people.
"I think we are at...C," I reply glancing at a screen displaying the numbers of flights, claims, and terminals.
"Okay, I think you are right,"she follows behind me and I find our bright pink and sea foam blue suitcases spinning around the belt.
We grab them off and roll them to the shuttles, which will take us to pick up our rental car. The outside pick-up and drop-off area smelling like the car fumes, cigarettes, and b.o I remembered.
"Hertz," Ha points to a bus that was loading people and luggage.
We stepped in to the bus and sat down, waiting to hop right off again because the car rental was only about two minutes away.
"Do you even know where he lives?" She asks rubbing her eyes, taking a sip out of her water bottle that had been refilled numerous times over the past 20 hours.
"Youngbae forwarded an address to me. Ha," I pause and look at her, "I am so nervous. He thinks the guys are coming and he isn't even happy about that. I'm starting to regret this." My voice is shaky and palms begin to sweat.
"Don't worry okay?" she smiles,"but do you know why he came here? Of all places?"
"I don't know. It seems like the farthest place away from Seoul. Maybe that's why?" I sigh and look out the window at the haze melting over the afternoon sky.
"I'm so sorry all of this has happened. I want him back just as much as you do." She smiles sympathetically although send fire through my veins. She had no idea how terrible this was. She had her perfect life, with her boyfriend and honestly she had no right to say that. She did not miss or want him back like I did. No one could ever feel the same way.
"What's wrong?" her voice is high and unsure.
"Just tired." I sigh and the bus stops at the rental car company.
"Well, let's get some sleep, tomorrow is going to be interesting..." She laughs yet I can't bring myself to smile along with her.

•••

I dreaded the moments leading up to knocking on that small apartment door. He lived in a beautiful complex near a private beach. The money he had made previously could leave him rich for the remainder of his life, although I am sure he was looking for some job to do because he was just like that.
Ha decided to wait in the car outside as I walked up. Every step making the knot in my stomach tighter and tighter until I felt as if I were going to die from the pain that was building up.
My mind took me off to a memory of us together on the river in Seoul. It was beautiful there and he was the only person I wanted to spend it with. That was the first time he said he loved me. I would never forget that, no matter what.
I slowly reach in to my pocket, trying to hide my shaking hands and I feel something cold brush my finger. I didn't remember putting anything in there. I pull out a ring. My promise ring. The one he had given me.
"What?" I looked at it carefully and wondered how it got there. I never put it in my bag, I tucked it away for a reason.
My feet stepped on to the steps leading to his door and I held it in my hand, hoping it was a good sign, maybe this meant that it would work.
My hand shook as it pressed the doorbell. No answer for a few seconds until I heard footsteps. I wanted nothing more than to run away and call everything off...but it was too late.
"Bree? What the hell?" He looked at me his eyebrows knitted together, furrowing in confusion.
"I-I..." My voice dies away as I admire him, even in his state of frustration and pain, he was still the handsome man I used to call mine.
"I thought I told you we were done." His deep voice brings back all the memories.
"I'm sorry, I just-"
"Where are the guys?" He asks, leaning on the door frame, gazing past me trying to spot them.
"They aren't here." I squeak out.
"Are you kidding me? You came out here by yourself?"
"Well Ha is here but she thought it would be better if I went alone," I turn toward her slightly although she can't see us.
"Bree," he takes my hands in a friendly way although that isn't even close to how I would describe the feeling I have when his skin touches mine,"there isn't anything you can do about what has happened. I've been here for over a month and things are sorted out."
"But S-Seung, I love you," the tears build in my eyes.
"I love you too," he smiles as his eyes produce the same.
"Then why won't you let us be together?"
"Because YG made his decision and-" he begins to break down and I can finally see my Seunghyun shining through,"Bree I want to go back. I want to go back to Korea and I want the guys back and I want everything to just go back to the way it was." His voice is shaky he cries tears of pure sadness. I wrap my arms around him and slowly rub the back of his head and hide my face in the crook of his neck.
"But mostly, I want you back. I want you." His words fill me with happiness yet at the same time I am pulled back to our reality.
"You have me," I hug him tighter and kiss his cheek softly.
"I have to stay here though," he releases me and I miss the feeling of his warmth.
"Why?" I ask pleadingly.
"In order to even have a chance to go back to YG, I have to have the contract cut for at least one year." He wipes his tears away.
"What?" My heart sinks.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just got the call today."
Just when everything was going right...it all went wrong.
"Wait for me?" He asks hopeful.
"Seung...I-"
"Please Bree. By then I'll be better. I won't be sick any more and everything will be better."
"But...I guess...okay," I say feeling as if it was rushed but knowing my ultimate choice was good.
"Oh thank god," he pulls me close to his chest holding my head next to his chest,"I'm so sorry."
"It's okay." I listen to his heavy breathing.
"I love you."
"I love you too," I stay in his arms and let him calm me down,"Will you come back to Seoul at least?"
"I'll be back soon. I promise." He smiles and I kiss him again.
"No, can you move back? Come live with me." I touch his cheek lightly as he touches mine.
"No, I couldn't ask for that."
"You aren't asking I am telling you, come back to Seoul and live with me, my apartment is big enough for us." I smile.
"Maybe."
"Yes." I laugh and pull him close to me as Ha calls me and I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.
I ignore it and walk to the car with him, his hand sweetly grasping mine, just the way it felt before.

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Here is another update for you all and I apologize for it being so short!! Sorry it was a bit slow to get up but now I have two fanfics to write (go and check it out!) So everything is kinda working itself out so that's good for Bree...right?! You guys are awesome and please vote, comment, and follow!

Xoxo

Livi