The Portrait of Gamophobia (2) Harvey Spector

Cookie Jar

Guilty.

It echoed off the walls so powerfully, Max hadn't realized what was said.

Guilty.

She remembered her mother's trial, how when she heard the exact words come out of the jury's mouth, her mind was serene. Like a undisturbed pond in the quiet outdoors. Her mind went blank, and she tuned out the world, finding silence in a loud room. She remembers zoning out, her face calm. She knew that this was the same feeling that she was feeling now. The feeling of being at peace. The feeling of laying something to rest. The feeling of closing the book after reading the last page; knowing the story, yet being done with it.

Guilty.

Like a key to unlock these feelings. That word changed her life.

Guilty.

Oliver Klades was found guilty.

And yet, she couldn't be like everyone else.

She couldn't be like Jessica, who was standing tall, chin out, shoulders back. She was firm and powerful again, after successfully winning another case. She couldn't be like Donna, or Rachel, who had hugged each other with happiness seeping out of them. She couldn't be like Mike, who was grinning from ear to ear, and the glee of winning the case was evident on his face.

Max tried, but she couldn't be like Harvey; overconfident, snide, and in control of the situation. She knew what Harvey was feeling though, the evidence was clear as he made his way to Cameron Dennis. She knew that Harvey was going to rub it in his face a little, but threaten him a lot. She knew he was going to be overprotective, but also ecstatic. He succeeded in protecting Max, defending her honour, and finding her justice.

So Max did what she felt was right.

Be at peace.

The tap on her shoulder pulled her away from her calm, undisturbed pond as she turned to face Jessica. Looking into the woman's eyes, her surroundings came back to her. No longer out in the quiet, serene woods, she was back in the chaotic hallway of the courtroom, with the sounds of the people asking questions, taking pictures, and all-around noise assaulting her ears.

"Maxine," Jessica Pearson said from behind her, and Max wondered why the Managing Partner always used her full name.

"Jessica," she said to her, her voice soothing.

"You won," the dark-skinned woman reaffirmed, "you got the justice you deserved. I think that deserves a smile."

The corner of Max's mouth lifted.

"Jessica, if you think that I'm not happy... you're wrong," she told her, honesty flowing out of her so easily.

"I feel so at ease. This nightmare is behind me. I can move on."

Jessica looked at the woman sitting in front of her. She didn't appear to be sad, yet the better half of Pearson Hardman found it odd that Maxine had just put away her captor for a lifetime, and yet she was sitting there silently.

"If that's how you feel about putting Oliver Klades away, I wonder how you'd react when you make Senior Partner."

Now that pulled Max right out of her peaceful composure.

"Miss Pearson?" She said in disbelief.

Jessica laughed, "Keep working the way you are. I know one day you'll be great."

"But I'm great already," the brunette threw in there slyly.

The older woman smiled, "We'll see."

Jessica grabbed her purse, making her way gracefully out of the courtroom. Max sat there, looking out the window. Jessica wanted to make her Senior Partner. She knew that it would be years before she even saw the word 'Senior' on her door, but if Jessica was already thinking about that, who knows what she'd do to back up Maxine. Max felt another tap on her shoulder, and she turned around with a smile on her face.