Never I Thought

Chapter 34 - Never I Thought

If Robin was at school, he was avoiding me entirely.

He was skipping classes, even the ones we didn't have together. Students were whispering, they knew something was up with their perfect athlete.

He must've forgotten about my determination when I wanted something because I was going to find him and confess everything locked up in my mind because I had been too afraid.

No longer did I want to cower in the familiarity just because it was safe, though new feelings scared me, it was something I wanted to explore, something I wanted to welcome with a cool breeze and the sun shining.

So it was exactly what I wanted to do.

The bell rang and I threw my stuff into my bag, standing up about to race out of the classroom, hoping I could catch him at his next class before he disappeared.

"Alyssa," Mrs Delvin said from her desk.

I internally groaned. Though I loved my English teacher, now just wasn't the time.

Still, I walked back to her desk with a smile, "Mrs Delvin."

"Did you do that essay? You seemed like you were about to bolt, I wouldn't want my only good student's grades begin to suffer," she raised her eyebrows.

I opened my bag and placed the essay on her desk, it had been sitting in my bag for two days I had just forgotten to hand it in. My lips pressed together as I sent her an apologetic look.

"Sorry, I've been a little distracted but I promise it won't happen again."

"You know I just want the best for you," Mrs Delvin smiled, "you have so much potential and I know you don't want to waste it. How's that tutoring going by the way? Still in it?"

I thought about Nikki and Mila, how they had become more than just students, they really had become my friends. Their sparkling energy had always caused me to smile. I never thought I had needed more friends until we met.

"Yeah, I suppose it wasn't the waste of time I thought it was," I smiled slightly.

"That's wonderful to hear. Keep up the good work, Alyssa, keep trying new things."

I took that as my cue to leave and said goodbye, as soon as I closed the classroom door I picked up my speed.

Maybe there was still time.

I rounded the corner and an elbow came at my nose at lightning speed.

"Ow!" I cried out.

"Oops," came an apologetic tone.

Immediately I opened my eyes. I recognised that voice anywhere.

"Robin," I breathed, "I've been looking for you."

"Oh?" He looked down at me with suspicious eyes, "you wanna make sure I have no more dignity left? Go ahead, Alyssa Mcurth, give it your all."

"I'm such an idiot. Everything you said the other day... you were right. I just kept twisting your feelings and my feelings because I felt so guilty. I was so worried if we rushed into things you'd realise just how messed up of a person I am," my words rushed out.

I took a quick breath in and when Robin didn't interrupt me, I continued.

"But I've realised that no matter how hard I try to deny it, I'm always, always, thinking about you. I don't want anyone else, Robin, and I'm exhausted trying to pretend I do," my eyes were becoming glassy as I watched his unreadable expression but I had to continue.

"I really love you, Robin."

I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering if I should bolt or try and stand tall on my numb legs. He seemed to be frozen in time, just watching my eyes carefully, wondering if I was being for real.