Dearest, May I?

Let It Reign

I woke up this morning panting, for I had dreamt of him. The way he smiled and his fangs just barely poked through. The way his nose crinkled whenever I made him laugh, and how his pearly white hair always was perfect, which always amazed me. How could one who couldn’t see their own reflection be so perfect? I hated him for it, and how it made me feel. These past couple days I was so angry but I started to believe what he said. Maybe he really did this to spend eternity with me, and not for me to be a mindless slave. But don’t they go hand in hand? Are we truly equals? If so why am I alone in this room? Why isn’t he helping me through this transformation? I’m sure my threats didn’t help but gods I was angry. Why do I miss him so? Or am I just grieving who he was? Regardless he isn’t besides me and that is what hurts the most. I would take him anyway he was. Evil or good, I just knew at this minute I wanted his touch, I wanted him within reach.

Originally I wanted to strangle him but I imagine my feelings were on overload from the transition. I stared at the blood for a good minute before finally getting up. It had been almost a day of me looking at it, debating if I should give in or not. I let Astarion feed from me plenty, its okay because its in our nature. Right? Or am I misguided and blinded because I love a vampire so much that my morals just do not exist? Is it really a battle of what is moral or unmoral at this point? Blood is essential for my survival

I grabbed the blood bag and tore it open with my mouth, taking one sip before I lost control. That one sip and I was in love. The bag had to of lasted no more than ten seconds, and god did I desire more. I felt like an addict, wanting their next fix, but my biggest drug of all was him. I heard a knock and a click unlocking the door and I sprang like a frog catching their first fly of the day, open armed

“ Oh- I’m sorry I thought you were Astarion” I embarrassingly said to this petite woman wearing a maids outfit holding soaps in one hand and a bag of blood in the other, that I couldn’t break eye contact with

“ Lord Ancunin asked me to deliver these to you – hand picked soaps from the market, from yours truly. He told me you adored honey and lavender. Would you like me to draw you a bath, Miss?” she sweetly asked, very convincingly, she was not compelled by the sounds of it.

“Oh- yes please. Please tell him to visit me as soon as he can. Um, could I, uh… eat first?” I said eyeing the blood bag. Its volume was definitely more than the last bag I had and I was salivating just imaging it going down my throat. I had ate not even five minutes ago but lord was I parched

“ Of course. After I will deliver you personally to the Lord, you have an assortment of gowns and outfits in the wardrobe if you haven’t noticed, created by the best seamstress in Baldur’s Gate, me, aha” she informed me, shyly, like she was proud yet ashamed to admit her talent to someone’s face

I embraced the warmth of the blood going down my throat once again but this time I only drank half the bag, savoring its flavor, saving the rest for later. I got in the tub, its heat wrapping me in a blanket of security and pure bliss, I felt safe even though I was vulnerable. The help stood nearby waiting for me to get out so she could do my hair. The thought of seeing him after this made me anxious and excited, but the idea of getting out of this tub devastated me. It was the only warmth I’ve received since changing, the only thing that felt like home


The maid made my hair look presentable (or so I hope, given I cannot see it), but it felt smooth, clean and in a tidy bun with some whispies framing my face. I had her describe what she was doing to me step by step and it was comforting, like she was my mirror. She moisturized my lips sprayed me with a vanilla and honeysuckle perfume. She had me pick out a gown and I chose a royal blue velvet dress that went just slightly above my knee and hugged my curves perfectly. The neckline had a slight plunge aswell. She went to remove my necklace to replace it with another, but I couldn’t allow that.

“ This necklace has sentimental value to me, I’d prefer to keep it on, I’m sorry. The sapphire one would look gorgeous with the dress, I’m sure of it, but Astarion gave me this necklace. I cannot risk losing it.” I stated

It was first gift he ever gave me, other than happiness and love. I treasured it as it became a part of me, I was never without it. Normally the idea of being dressed up like a doll would be horrifying to me, but knowing I was presentable sounded better than knowing I looked like hell after the past couple days.

She walked me down the hall and we made the smallest of talk, I did find out her name though. Veronica, same as my great grandmother that sadly passed. She was the strongest woman I ever known, I like to imagine I got my good attributes from her. She also was an adventurer, and a fighter.

I finally reached him. I expected him to be in the throne, in all his glory, but there he was with his back turned, admiring a painting on the wall.

“Remember the painting we came across in the Githyanki Creche?” I said admiring him from behind

“ How could I forgot. You vandalized it and offended a warrior. It was the first time I seen you actually do something without worrying about your morals. The first time you truly let loose. You couldn’t contain your laughter, even if you weren’t caught red-handed, you still would of gave yourself away”.

He still had his back turned to me, and all I wanted was for him to look at me. To hear his voice, to tell me the dress looked beautiful, anything. I walked up to him, just a foot of space between us before he finally turned around

“ Astarion… I’m sorry. You were right- you did give me a gift, one with no price tag, one I could never repay you for” I looked down, ashamed

He lifted my chin up and stared into my eyes for a moment before planting a kiss on my lips. He held my face near to his. I could hear the blood pumping in his veins, the beat of his heart, it was an entire orchestra and I was getting to sit in the first row.

“Hush now. Everything will fall into place. I thought I lost you and what you felt for me. Was your servant up to par? You deserve nothing less than exceptional.” He kissed my lips once more before taking a step back. I nodded my head yes to his question. He eyed me head to toe, making me warm and fuzzy inside

“Beautiful. That truly is your color my dear. You could make refugee rags look wonderful. Come along, we have lots to do today.”


We walked out, hand in hand into the city, I was ready to seize the day. I had no idea what to expect, but it wasn’t this. But lord did freedom look great on him