Dearest, May I?

Here Cums The King

tw: smut, face slapping, degrading, kind of non-con but also not really

That night I lied awake for what felt like an eternity. I pictured Wyll's face in mind over, and over again. He was one of my greatest companions on our journey, but I was the one to cause him the most pain. I knew he wouldn’t find out, Astarion made sure of that, but my guilt was eating at me. I should of stood my ground but I didn’t want to feel imprisoned in the castle, forever. He could keep me for an eternity, its up to me if I want it to be heaven or hell. It was my first night in Astarion's quarters but I never felt so alone, I wanted to scream why, why me, over and over in his face but I couldn’t.

 

I wondered if Duke Ravengard truly found out of our doings, or if this was some sick power play of Astarion. He did enjoy his sick twisted mind games and manipulating people. Or if this was payback for that time Wyll asked me to dance with him. I felt guilt, so heavily. Especially me getting lost in the blood, I let it take control, I let it take over every part of my brain telling me no. I let it consume me the same way the tadpoles in my brain did a year ago.

 

“ You haven’t spoke a word to me, are you upset at me, my love? “ he kissed my shoulder as I laid on my side facing away from him.

“You knew what you were doing… you knew a newborn vampire wouldn’t be able to control themselves around that much blood.” I stated

“You’re welcome. You just need to accept your nature fully. Our nature. He was a problem, it needed to be done. Get some rest.” he said into my shoulder before turning around.

I finally was able to fall asleep when the sun began to came out.

 

I woke up to Astarion planting kisses all over my shoulder and cheek.

 

“Sorry for waking you. I missed you. Its lunch time now, I’m sure you’re starved, darling”.

I got up and went to the dining room before getting ready for the day. Veronica was nowhere in sight. The horrors of this room were taunting me, I stared into my goblet for a good five minutes before taking a sip. I just wanted to get out of there. Everywhere I went I still pictured Wyll, what would he say to me? What would he do?  

 

 

I avoided eye contact with Astarion whenever I could. I still love him but it hurts. Did he still love me? I haven’t heard thoe three little words since he ascended.

 

“Do you still love me?” I asked while raising an eyebrow.

“What kind of question is that? Of course I do, we are equals, we share power, if that’s not love I don’t know what is. Many would kill to be a dark consort. I will be here for an eternity, and I want you besides me for all of it. I will always reassure you whenever you need it, little love.” His words of affirmation danced along his tongue like a prayer.

 

He grabbed my hand and took me into the main hall where is throne sat. Thank god- I seen Veronica sweeping, I was starting to get worried. There was also another servant working he must of just hired, the palace is huge its possible I just never seen them before. He sat and hoisted me up on his lap, facing him, making me look into his eyes.