Entry Five

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Dear Diary,

I've been sleeping a lot to pass the time. I don't even really need to sleep, eat, or much of anything else. I guess basic human needs don't apply to me anymore. At first, I kind of missed the sensation of eating food, but I'm starting to grow used to it. I suppose I don't really have a choice since there isn't a good way to obtain food on a regular basis anyway.

Well, sleeping is something I would have expected to struggle with here as well. My choices for where to sleep are limited to the grassy meadow in my wildflower meadow room, the first room I built, or the hard stone of the hallways and dungeon core room. I think the same thing that makes me not require sleep has made it easier to fall asleep and to sleep unnaturally long periods just by willing it so. I always fall asleep as soon as my head hits the ground.

The dreams are always ever so sweet as well. It's like I'm reliving my best days from my past life. Oftentimes, I dream of Lee. We'll be playing video games or going out for a date night, just as we used to. It feels just like he's still with me and I love the feeling of his hand in mine. It makes it hard not to want to sleep all of the time when I'm able to be so happy in my dreams.

I suppose, that makes it sound a bit like I'm depressed. Maybe my mental state is still a bit off. It still hurts to think about how I ended up in this world. I try to avoid thinking about it at all. Luckily, working on the dungeon seems like a good way to keep me distracted whenever I am awake. Still, sometimes... sometimes I wonder if I would have been happier had I not been reincarnated.

I'm sorry, I suppose that's a bit dark. I just... I don't see myself ever being able to move on from my past life, not while I can still remember it so vividly. I don't really have much attachment to this world either. I haven't met that many people yet and, those that I have met, treat me with so much distrust or a fearful sense of respect that I feel alienated from everyone. I no longer feel like I'm being treated as a fellow human being, but as if I am some sort of horrible monster. 

I don't look like anything but human, as far as I can tell. My skin looks the same as it did in my previous life. Well, all of my old scars are gone and I seem to have fewer blemishes. I even reincarnated into this world wearing a beautiful purple dress with matching cloth slip-on shoes. They aren't exactly the sort of gear I'd expect someone who engages in combat in a medieval fantasy world to wear, but it's certainly a pretty outfit.

I suppose I should add that I met some new people today. A man who calls himself David and his daughter, Alice. She's, apparently, a beast tamer with a pet wolf named Luna. A bit of a cliche name for a pet wolf, but I suppose I'm not one to talk. I've never been good at naming things either. That's why I've been avoiding naming my dungeon monsters, thus far. Well, that and the fact that it seems silly to name every monster I add to the dungeon if I'll one day have hundreds, if not thousands of them.

Anyway, David seemed to be familiar with human dungeon masters, even despite Theodore saying they were rare. Perhaps he read a book about them? I don't know, I suppose he may have met one before. Either way, he didn't seem to treat me the way Gregory did. He was polite, but didn't cower. However, he had a sort of watchfulness about him that makes me feel uncomfortable. It's like I was a strange dog he found on the street and he wasn't sure whether I'd be a threat or not.

I really hope I can make some new friends in this world. I think it would become rather hard to keep going if things remain like this indefinitely.

-Violet

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