~𝕊𝕨𝕖𝕖𝕥 ℕ𝕠𝕥𝕖𝕤~ [SeongJoong]

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[a/n: remeber that I love y'all and that this story has a HAPPY ENDING]

Seonghwa loved talking to Hongjoong.

He was cute, and fun, and he always managed to make Seonghwa feel at home.

Like when they hung out at the park and Seonghwa tripped over a toy that some kid had probably forgot there and Hongjoong just started laughing without helping him up. That honetly put a smile on Seonghwa's lips too even if the younger probably hadn't seen it.

Or when Hongjoong walked him to one of his lectures just because they met in the hallway and he said and I quote "It's sad to walk alone, expecially to class" and he hadn't left his side until the professor came.

But there was just something in the younger's eyes -something unsettling- that Seonghwa couldn't discard. Something that made him worry over the red haired male.

Because he came to understand that Hongjoong was fragile, and even if he didn't like to show that side of him, the insecure and vulnerable side, it was there.

And Seonghwa didn't like that.

Didn't like to see him like that.

It was now a Thursday afternoon, and Seonghwa was staring blankly at the open book in his hands.

There was no note.

Maybe Hongjoong didn't want to talk to him anymore after he found out that Seonghwa was the one leaving him notes, but that couldn't be it, because otherwise he wouldn't be hanging out with him in the meantime.

Maybe he wanted them to switch? Like, stop sending notes and actually talk in person.

Yeah, that must be it.

But he didn't tell Seonghwa about it.

Maybe he wanted him to get the hint and confess? Yunho wouldn't have asked Seonghwa if he liked Hongjoong if the younger didn't feel the same way no?

Because you usually ask help to your friends for these things right?

Seonghwa felt the warmth rising in his chest at the thought.

Or maybe it was all in his head, but he obviously didn't think when he pushed the book back on the shelf. And he didn't think when he run out of the library under the rain, forgetting his umbrella in the process. And he definitely didn't think when he knocked on Hongjoong's door with a force that was extremely unecessary.

Because all he could think about was that the younger returned his feelings.

So when Hongjoong opened the door he immediatly threw himself on him into a hug, that cought the red haired off guard as he stumbled back a few steps, almost losing balance.

"Seonghwa? Is everything alright?"

He nodded into the hug as he felt the other's arms wrap around his body too.

He soon pulled back with a smile that could actually light up an entire room.

"I know you expected this but I didn't think I could be able to say it because it's kind of embarassing, but it's you and I know I can tell you anything and you wouldn't judge me, I really thought I had no chance or maybe I thought that you were the type of guy to go ahead and face things youself but it doesn't matter because I am- Oh god I can't believe I'm really about to say it but I like you Hongjoong. I really like you so much" He rambled without catching his breath.

He looked up at the other only when he finished talking but... Why was Hongjoong looking at him... like that...?

He looked... sad? Apologetic even.

Why did he look apologetic?

Did Seonghwa read the signs wrong?

Because right now the silence was killing him.

A stinging pain was making it's way in his chest because now Hongjoong way stepping away and Seonghwa was dying.

"Seonghwa I... I'm..."

Tears were forming at the corners of his eyes. Because he had been reckless.

"I'm not gay"

"I only see you as a friend"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore"

"Ew, gross"

His thoughts were running wild, making all the worse scenarios appear in his head and he just wanted to shut them all off.

He messed up big time.

So he flew. He didn't want to hear it. It was obvious that Hongjoong was going to reject him at this point and he didn't want to hear it.

Tears streaming down his face he ran out the door and into his apartment.

He closed the door, collapsed against it. Why did he never think before actually speaking? Why did he never think before actually doing something.

It all happened so fast that he couldn't even wrap his head around it. It didn't feel real.

But the throbbing pain in his chest, that was real. And it was definitely hurtful.

He couldn't stop crying for the following hour, drowning in his sorrow and his self despair.