ego death | blue lock

00.

for clarification: reader's actual parents are an alpha father and omega female mother. stepbrother's parents are reader's alpha father and an omega male mother.

TW: mentions of abuse

i vividly remember the day i came home from my football practice when i was 12.

i was excited to tell my stepfather about what had happened at practice, but when i came home nobody was there and the lights were off. instead, there was a baby on the floor. my newborn stepbrother.

my stepfather left after giving birth to my stepbrother, just like how my mother left me and my father after i became an omega. i was only 6 then.

i remember the look on my father's face when i presented. pissed off, looking at me like i was a piece of shit. it made me feel as if i was being reduced to nothing under his glare.

that was why my mother left, because i became a shitty omega.

that day, when my father came home after discovering my mother's disappearance, he didn't seem to care. instead all he said was "she should've taken the omega brat with her if she was going to leave."

since that day, i rarely saw my father. it was only until he brought home an omega who was pregnant that i started seeing him again.

it was terrible, even with my stepfather there. my father would have fits of rage and would take it out on my stepfather. it was terrifying to think that he would act out on the person pregnant with his second child. 

when i saw the baby on the floor, i couldn't blame my stepfather for leaving. he had to deal with my abusive father throughout his entire pregnancy. if my father was abusive to him while he was pregnant, it could get worse if he stayed with us with his child.

my father was rarely home anymore and he didn't even do anything when he found out that my stepfather left. he was either working, drunk, or gambling. it was just me and my brother.

from then on, i started living for me and my brother only. i tried to act as if i was a beta to remove any possible conflict. i completely quit and stopped playing football. i would go to school on certain days and come back as soon as i could to take care of the baby. by then, my education and how my life turned out didn't matter as long as my brother could live a normal, better life than i did.

he should never have to experience what i had to.

then the worse possible thing happened. my father took off and ran with all the money and expenses he had, leaving my brother and i without any living expenses. not only did he leave us without any money, he gave us loads of debt.

i barely made enough money from my new part time job to cover the cost of me and my brother's survival. in short, we would starve.

if it wasn't for the mikage family, my brother and i would be dead now. the mikage family offered me a job at their house as a servant with above average pay for a student and after school work hours.

i am forever grateful to the mikage family, but the money i earn working is not even close to the amount of my father's debt i have to pay back.

but all of this hard work i take on is for my brother. its not about me anymore. my brother will get to live normally without the experiences i had to go through.

my ego died long ago, but i will do whatever it takes to keep my brother's ego going.

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3.02.2024