〖49〗

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Yeosang breathed in and out as he watched the lifeless body in front of him.

His hands were shaking as he realized what he just did. He doesn't know why or how it happened, or even why did he do it?

He just killed someone. Yeosang never would have even thought about that at all, and yet he just shoot someone like it was nothing. He felt so disgusted with himself as he placed his head into his hands. 

Yeosang cried softly as he did that, silently blaming himself for so many things.

"Yeosang?..." Someone suddenly said.

Yeosang just kept crying, still not looking up. 

"..Yeosang, wake up.." Jongho whispered quietly as he shook him. 

Yeosang opened his eyes immediately, realizing it was just a dream and that he was crying because of it. It wasn't real at all, it was just a dream. 

"Hey, are you okay angel? You cried." Jongho whispered as he moved the hair out of his face. 

Yeosang sobbed as he wiped his tears away. "I-I'm fine."

Jongho's eyes softened as he pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around his body and hugging Yeosang tightly. The male hugged him back, placing his head into his nape.

"Was it the dream again?" Jongho asked. 

He started having nightmares about killing Seokjun, and Jongho was just restless knowing that Yeosang is feeling bad. Jongho was waken up a lot of times in the night due to him shaking in his sleep, and him ushering Yeosang to sleep has became their nightly routine.

Yeosang and him talked a lot about it yesterday, and he explained everything he saw in his dreams. It was like a retrospection as the sight of killing Seojun just kept replying in his head.

 "Yeah.." Yeosang whispered as he tugged onto Jongho's shirt. 

Jongho sighed. He kept him close, kissing the top of his head and just keeping Yeosang close.

"It's alright. I'm here now, go back to sleep." Jongho whispered. 

Yeosang sobbed as he nodded his head, nuzzling into Jongho's side and closing his eyes as he relaxed. 

Jongho felt so bad. He needed to protect Yeosang and help him as much as he can.

► ► ► ► ►

Jongho slowly opened his eyes only to turn around because of the light hitting his body in the early hours of morning. He hummed as he tapped around the other side of the bed, trying to find Yeosang.

 He opened his eyes, groaning quietly as he saw that Yeosang wasn't next to him. Jongho just hated when he woke up earlier. It just made him miss Yeosang being in his arms. 

He coughed as he sat up on his bed, rubbing his eyes as he just stared into the space and remembered what happened the last couple of days. Seokjun is dead. Yeosang killed him. 

Yeosang killed him, and even if Jongho didn't know that he was there or how he got there at all, he was extremely proud of Yeosang even if he was so scared. 

Jongho felt so bad. He just felt horrible, and he knew he had to help Yeosang. 

He sighed as he got up and went to bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth, going downstairs once he was done and smelling the familiar scent of pancakes. A huge smile immediately placed itself on Jongho's face. 

Walking into the kitchen, he saw no one else then his beautiful boyfriend standing there and making pancakes. His long black hair was tied up in a small ponytail as he wore Jongho's shirt that was too big for him, focusing on doing their breakfast. 

Jongho smirked a bit when he reached him, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning his head on Yeosang's shoulder as he jumped. 

"Shit, you scared me.." Yeosang giggled. 

Jongho smiled as he leaned closer, placing his head into his neck and pressing a kiss there.

"You left without a good morning kiss.." Jongho mumbled.

Yeosang hummed as he turned off the stove, placing the last pancake on the plate with the others and turning around to face him.

"Just wanted to make you breakfast. I thought you would sleep longer." He smiled as he turned around, wrapping his arms around Jongho's shoulders.

Jongho raised his eyebrow, but he just stayed silent and leaned in. He pressed their lips together, humming a bit as Yeosang kissed him back just a moment later. 

God, he will never stop loving him. 

"Let's have breakfast?" Yeosang asked. 

They were soon sitting in front of each other, eating pancakes and having coffee while holding their hands together. They talked about many things, but Jongho also needed to talk to him about something important too. 

"Love?" Jongho asked as he watched Yeosang put the plates away into the sink. 

Yeosang turned back and looked at him, expecting Jongho to continue. 

"Can we talk about what happened last night?"

Jongho cringed as he said that. Jongho knew that Yeosang didn't want to talk about it, but they needed to address the elephant in the room now, specially because he knows Yeosang needs help. 

He was extremely worried. It wasn't okay at all.

Yeosang nodded his head, walking over to Jongho and pulling a chair next to his. Before he could even sit, Jongho tugged at his hand and let Yeosang sit on his lap. They giggled and just stayed sitting like that. 

"You know why am I saying this, right?" Jongho asked. 

Yeosang shifted in the place, nodding his hand as he grabbed Jongho's hand. He looked down to their hands and sighed. 

"I know.. It just feels stupid." Yeosang whispered.

Jongho shook his head. "Yeosang, no. It's not stupid at all. It's very bad and I'm worried about you."

Yeosang gulped as he leaned against Jongho. He relaxed as Jongho held him close, kissing his head a bit. 

"Love, you need help. I'm always here for you to talk, but I think it's the best if you go on a therapy." Jongho said as softly as he could. 

Yeosang was quiet as he played with Jongho's fingers, sorting out his thoughts as Jongho just let him do so. He would always let Yeosang have some time. 

He nodded. "I think so too. I just keep seeing things that remind me of...everything."

Jongho sighed again, still holding him close and rubbing his waist. He nodded his head and kissed Yeosang again. 

"It's alright. We will take care of it." Jongho mumbled. 

Yeosang was quiet again for a couple of moments before he spoke up again. 

"Will you go with me? I don't think I can do it alone.." Yeosang asked as he kept playing with Jongho's hand. 

Jongho smiled. "Of course I will. I'll never let you go through something like this all alone."

Yeosang smiled as he leaned over and hugged Jongho tightly for a couple of seconds. He knew Jongho would never leave him alone, specially when he knows he is going through a rough time. 

"Thank you.." He mumbled.

Jongho smiled as he rubbed his back, hugging him too and kissing his temple again. 

It was all true. They can get through all of it when they are together.

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