Forget-me-not

Cynthia

The moment that Cynthia and Flora were back upstairs, Flora was pissed. She shut the apartment door, locked it, and turned to glare at Cynthia. Tears still blurred Cynthia's vision. She sniffled trying to get the tears to stop falling down her face.

"You contacted Hyunjin, didn't you?"

Another choked out sob fell from Cynthia. She was unraveling at the seams. Waves of confusion swept over the sand of stability and ripped it from beneath her feet. She was left stumbling on erosion and trying to stay upright

"I want your phone and I want it now."

Cynthia didn't hesitate to shakily pull it out of her back pocket and stretch it towards Flora. She didn't want her to get explosive again. She had already watched how upset she got with Hyunjin. She didn't want to experience that tense and heated anger pointed at herself.

Cynthia expected Flora to ground her again. She expected her to take the phone and lock it in her room. She expected Hyunjin's number to come up missing and she'd have to find Hyunjin by the river again. It was annoying, but it was manageable. This time, she'd go with him. There'd be no hesitation this time.

What she wasn't expecting was the calm rationality that Flora had as she walked into the kitchen. Without a single word, Flora walked over to the cupboard and took out a cutting board. Cynthia wiped away her tears and watched with shaky breathing.

A steel meat tenderizer was pulled from a drawer. Cynthia stepped closer towards the kitchen to see what Flora was doing. In Flora's mind, she was fuming. She gave Cynthia a phone, so she wasn't so bored. Cynthia had betrayed her by rediscovering the past. She'd do anything to make sure it stayed undiscovered.

She placed the Samsung phone on the cutting board face up. She didn't hesitate to swing the meat tenderizer down on the phone screen hard. Cynthia's eyes went wide from the shock. Flora picked up the meat tenderizer and slammed it down again. Over and over and over again.

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

Tears silently slipped down Cynthia's cheeks. She should have fought harder downstairs. She should have gone with Hyunjin. She should have ignored the sudden blindsiding of Flora's words. She should have heard Hyunjin out.

Maybe the two of them could have gone back to his place and shared ramen. They could have talked and laughed. She could have found out everything. She could have learned the truth and freed herself from this web of perplexity. She could have met her boyfriend and maybe, just maybe, things might have felt strange, but normal.

Instead, every hope and dream she had shattered beneath the meat tenderizer. She didn't even attempt to stop Flora. Flora's eyes were cemented down on the phone. There was no life in them as she beat the phone into tiny pieces. The screen cracked and shattered. Bits of plastic flew out into every direction.

Tensions were high and so were both the women's emotions. Flora was angry enough that it was deadly. Like a viper, she was ready to lash out and snap at any moment. Her words were poisoned darts. Every word was meant to hurt and destroy. It was meant to cut deep and break you.

That's what happened when you grew up with monsters instead of parents. Despite becoming a victim of abuse, there's always a chance that you'll learn it too. You learn the right things to say to break someone down. You break them down and then pick them back up. How could someone leave if you love bombed them?

The cycle would repeat if the victim didn't learn. The generational cycle of abuse; that big wheel spinning round and round and round. Turning victimized children into angry and lethal adults. Breaking them down and building them back up. Sending them out into the world with hearts of hate and blood tainted with narcissism.

Whose fault was it really when the victim turned into the perpetrator? Maybe it was their own fault. Maybe it was their parents or maybe it was the parents of their parents. Perhaps it was society and the dog-eat-dog world where everyone fends for themselves because people couldn't trust each other. Maybe it was a bit of all of the above.

Weaker people were so much easier to take advantage of. The ones who didn't get much love. The ones who would do anything just to get a sliver of attention. The ones who would get on their knees and beg for someone to love them. They were tired of licking their own wounds, they wanted, they needed someone to be there.

Even if they were aware the relationship was toxic, there was always hesitation to pull away and leave. People could always change. Maybe they could help the perpetrator. Maybe they could fix them and set them straight. It might cost them their self-esteem and their sanity, but was that truly such a bad thing if you were helping someone?

In Cynthia's case, she couldn't remember. She couldn't remember how she was treated by her parents. The past was a hazy fog and thinking about too much physically caused her brain to ache. All she knew was this and how Flora treated her.

It was so easy to take advantage of Cynthia when she was like this. No past to look back on and no future to hope for. She was putty in Flora's hands and she could stretch, shape, and pull her to whichever direction she desired.

When Flora finally stopped, she dropped the tenderizer on the phone one last time. Without remorse, her eyes met Cynthia's. Cynthia stayed quiet and wrapped her arms around herself. She was left utterly defeated, broken, and exhausted.

A few moments of silence hung between the pair before Flora finally spoke. "I'm just trying to help keep your heart safe, Cynthia. I'm trying to do what's best for you. You're making it incredibly difficult when you refuse to listen and obey me."

Cynthia remained silent.

"Trust me, you don't want to remember the past. The past was full of terror for you. There's so many things you're better off not remembering. Forget about Seungmin and Hyunjin." She slipped from the kitchen and moved closer to Cynthia.

"We can make a bright future together without them." A smile began to appear on Flora's face. Her eyes scanned Cynthia's face looking for any signs of discomfort. Tear streaks coated her face, but she seemed fine besides that.

Flora wrapped a red hoodie sleeve around her arm and brushed it over Cynthia's face to mop up the tears. "It's going to be so much better than you can imagine. We'll figure it out together and we'll be happy. Everything is going to work out, I swear."

More tears filled Cynthia's eyes. Flora frowned and brushed them away. She pulled Cynthia into her arms and pressed her head against her chest. It didn't take long for Cynthia to break down into heart-wrenching broken sobs again.