Forget-me-not

Cynthia

She didn't remember falling asleep in Seungmin's warm embrace. She could faintly recall the way his slender arms wrapped around her back. She remembered that the Puppym plushie was pressed between their chests. She remembered dropping her head onto his shoulder and then it was nothing.

There was a soft chirping in the distance. It was muted, but it was there. Somewhere, the birds were awake and going on about their day. Searching for food, swooping across spring skies, they were alive along with the rest of the world.

When Cynthia's eyes opened, she was shocked to find Seungmin's sleeping face a few inches away. His arms were crossed over his chest and his face was relaxed. Dark lashes kissed the tops of his cheeks. His hair sat like an intermeshed birds' nest. Honey glazed skin glowed in the diminishing sunlight.

Her heart banged with the force of a drum line. The two of them were laying side by side on a mattress. Her eyes soaked up the view in front of her. It felt like something she shouldn't be seeing, but she was. His defenses were down here and, right now, he was just Seungmin.

He wasn't Kim Seungmin from Stray Kids, he was just Seungmin. He overcame obstacles one by one. He handled whatever life threw his way without complaint. He was a boy who grew into a man. The more she stared at his face, the more she saw parts of the young boy peeking through.

Had his mother walked in like this when he was a child? Did she reach out a tender hand and slowly smooth out his messy hair? Did she stroke away a stray fallen eyelash? Did she gently swipe a thumb across the apple of his cheek and murmur her love for him?

Did his father sneak in, during the dead of night, and mull over him? Did his gaze linger night after night after night while the days turned into months and months turned into years? Did it hit him in the middle of a rainy summer evening, one where the ground smelled like earthworms and when the roof danced with the quiet pitter-pattering of rain; that his boy had morphed into a man before his eyes?

Cynthia shifted an arm and it was then that she realized the Puppym plushie was tucked to her chest. A couple layers of blankets were stacked on top of her. Did Seungmin tuck her and the plushie in? Why was he here?

The moment she thought about it, she was swept with guilt. She didn't mind Seungmin's presence, in fact, she cherished it. The few dreams she had, the flashbacks gained from being here, it helped her trust him more. Besides Hyunjin, Seungmin was the second one she trusted.

Seungmin's nose twitched in his sleep and a small smile perked up at the left corner of Cynthia's mouth. If the two of them dated, how many times has this happened? How many times did the pair share the same bed? How well did he know her?

She shut her eyes and tried to push the thoughts away. It was getting late and she should have gone back to sleep. The paper-thin backing of her eyelids kept her in the dark. She remained like that for a while until she reopened her eyes.

Seungmin's sleepy eyes were staring back at her. She jumped and the momentum caused one of his eyebrows to slip up. The two continued to stare at each other until Cynthia broke the silence. "Holy shit, you scared the shit out of me," she whispered.

"Do you often stare at people when they're trying to sleep?"

"I-" Her cheeks went red. "I didn't mean to. I just woke up and..." She trailed off realizing she had no excuse. "I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable."

"It's alright. Why were you staring anyway?" He shifted, so he could face her body more. She stayed quiet while he waited for an answer.

"Do you have parents?"

The words caught him off guard. His eyebrows quipped up in a furrow before they dropped again. "Huh?" He studied her face until it finally clicked in his brain. "Parents? Yeah, I have parents."

"Are they good parents?"

"Well, they have their flaws, but doesn't every parent? They're not perfect, but they try their best. They managed to raise my older sister and I. They shaped us into the people we are today, so I suppose they deserve some credit."

"Who gets the rest of the credit?"

"Myself because they weren't here for a lot after I joined the band."

"Oh."

"I'm just screwing around, I like my parents. They're good people and I try to give back to them when I can. My sister too, even if she's a pain in the ass sometimes. Once I joined the band, I got a lot of help with the mushy stuff from the rest of the band members around me. They really are like my brothers."

"It must be nice to be surrounded by all that love." Cynthia smiled, but Seungmin could see the hurt in her eyes. She must have brought up parents because she missed hers.

"Do you remember your parents?"

The smile began to fade. She sniffled, partly to hide the lump and her throat and partly to get rid of the build up of congestion in her sinuses. She still felt pretty shitty from the ongoing cold.

"I really wish I did, but no. I don't know what they were like and I don't remember them at all. Honestly, I can't even remember what they looked like."

"Your mom used to look just like you, but she didn't have your freckles."

Surprise fell across her face. "You...you know my parents? Have you met them?"

"No. Unfortunately, they were already deceased when I-"

"Oh, yeah." Her frown deepened, "I forgot about that part."

"I'm really sorry."

"It's alright. It's not like it matters much anyway. I can't remember to begin with, so how much difference could it really make?"

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

"Close them."

"Why?"

"Never mind, I'll do it for you." Seungmin reached over and cupped a hand over Cynthia's eyes. The warmth of his skin caused that familiar fluttering in her stomach to start again. "Keep your eyes closed and just imagine."

"Your mom looked like you. You always used to talk about how she was a little bit shorter than you. Her hair was the exact same shade as yours. It had the same waves that you carry with you. Your father was taller than you and he looked a little more serious."

"You used to say that your father looked like he got lost in thought easily. The two of you have the same gentle curve of your nose. He was more serious than your mother was too. Your mom lived her life through her emotions whereas your dad was more uncertain and anxious."

Cynthia kept her eyes shut beneath his hand. The weight of it pressed against the bridge of her nose. When she attempted to peek and open her eyes, his hand remained pressed against her eyes. With his fingers pressed together, she couldn't see anything through them.

"Did you know you grew up in Hawaii?"

"Flora mentioned it, yes."

"At least, she did that right. You grew up by the ocean. Your parents used to joke that salt water was in your veins. You talked a lot about how your parents said you were a mermaid. In fact, when they tried to teach you to swim, the-"

"They didn't have to because I already knew how," she finished for him.

Seungmin removed his hand. He stared at her and inched closer. "How did you know that? Did Flora tell you? I was so excited to tell you that about yourself."

"I remembered that myself."

"Really?"

"Really, it's starting to come back."