CLXVII: Freddie Pineapple

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Sirius Black stood in the Lupin living room long after nightfall on his Birthday, flicking through the pages of book after book after book, searching for something to help him help Harry. But there was nothing about the Triwizard Tournament in any of the books that Remus Lupin had lining his shelves. Sirius felt let down, once again, by books and libraries.

If you want to find something out, you've got to just jump in and get involved - books can't tell you shite, he thought.

He sighed and plucked the next volume off the shelf and when he opened the cover a Polaroid fluttered out from between the pages and down to the floor in front of him. He stared down at it, then bent to pick it up.

It was a photo of him and Remus from early on in Fifth Year, when Sirius's hair had been shorn off by the Slytherins, when he and Remus had been together - before the prank, before the adventure with James and rescuing the Minister for Magic as they'd done together that year. In it, Remus and Sirius were laying on their backs in the grass, heads together, staring up at the camera. He could remember Marlene taking the photograph during Care of Magical Creatures and Sirius's face kept turning to kiss Remus's cheek, their eyes shining and happy and the world around them bright and warm. She'd given them the photograph and Remus had claimed it. He'd had it beside his bed for a good long time, until the prank, at which time he must've shoved it into this book - their fifth year DADA text.

Sirius held the Polaroid in his hand, staring at it, and he looked down and saw their handwriting on the title page.

This book belongs to Remus Lupin was written neatly beneath the title in Remus's cursive. And below it, in block lettering was Sirius's handwriting, AND ALSO TO --- and here he'd scratched out SIRIUS BLACK and below written in FREDDIE PINEAPPLE.

In spite of himself, Sirius laughed as a memory flooded him.

"I've decided to shed my birth name and assume a new identity by which I shall be known forthwith."

Raised eyebrows all around the dormitory.

"And what, pray-tell, is this new identity which you'll be assuming... forthwith?" smirked James, imitating Sirius's regal tone and dramatic words.

"Freddie Pineapple," Sirius replied, voice completely level - not a joke in it.

James's smirk deepened, his eyes bright with amusement at just how serious Sirius was being.

"Freddie Pineapple?" Remus asked. "What sort of name is that?"

It was during that time when Remus and Sirius were at odds, when Remus was still hurt from Sirius's betrayal with the prank and Sirius was still spiraling without a catch net below him. He had a half dozen cards and letters in his desk drawer from his mother, most of them never even opened to know what her latest ode to hatred read. It was a time when he, Sirius, felt like he belonged no where at all.

"The sort that my parents would despise to their very cores," Sirius answered. "It's ridiculous, their least favorite thing to be, despite their impeccable ability to be ridiculous themselves."

James snorted, trying to hold back his laughter.

Remus said, "I mean, I've never met anyone with the last name of Pineapple."

"Precisely why I ought to be named it," Sirius replied. "After all, you've never met anyone like me, have you, so I ought to have a name that nobody's ever had before, too, right?"

"Freddie on account of Freddie Mercury, yeah?" asked Peter, piping up.

"Of course on account of Freddie Mercury!" Sirius said, "What other Freddies are even worth mentioning?"

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