Where Do We Go Now?

Present.

A/N

YALL GET FUCKING READY FOR THIS ONE ITS WILD.

SMUT WARNING

**

Darkness surrounds Louis in his dreams. He's sitting alone on a stage, a stage light turns on and shines down on him. Red seats are lined in front of him and suddenly he realizes where he is. Theater camp. Five years ago.

He sits cross legged on the edge of the stage, staring out at the rows of seats in front of him. It's not only the darkness of the room that's putting him in a bad mood, it's the darkness of the clouds in his mind. He turns eighteen in a few months, and told his mum not to bother with presents because he knows how much they're already struggling to pay for the twins to go to school next year. He said that this camp could be his present and his mum had given such a thankful look Louis had to bite his tongue.

"Hey, Lou." Harry's voice said from behind him, Louis swung around and smiled.

"Hey," He smiled and patted the place next to him. Harry blushed, (he looks adorable when he blushes and thinks Louis doesn't realise), and sat down, his feet dangling off the stage. Louis' hand is less than a centimeter away from his and he nervously slide it over, their fingers touching at the tips. Harry smiled, eyes on his lap. Louis looked at him, his stomach dropping into the depths of the earth. Jesus, this boy.

"Have you, erm," Louis coughed, "Have you packed your bags?" Harry glanced at him, his cheeks flushed pink.

"Yeah," Harry said quietly, "We have half an hour until the bus."

"Then an hour until we're home."

"Hm." Harry hummed, watching their fingers slide into each other. "Home." He looked up at Louis from under his eyelashes. Louis wanted to kiss him so bad. They usually didn't kiss unless it was leading to something else, but this wasn't the first time in the past few months Louis' wanted to kiss him just to kiss him. Just because he liked Harry.

Louis finally felt brave enough to intertwine their hands between them, looking into Harry's eyes. Did Harry feel the same way Louis did? It was getting confusing.

Harry blushes again and Louis very nearly throws himself off the stage. "I..." He squeezes Louis' hand, "I like holding your hand." He whispers like it's a secret. Louis smiles bashfully.

"I like you." He blurts. Harry looks at him with wide eyes.

"You do?" Louis swallows and nods, Harry looks away awkwardly, "I... I like you too. A lot."

I doubt it's as much as I like you.

"Lou?" Harry snaps him out of his daze, "When we get home, um," He looks at Louis, his eyes are sad. "Are we going to pretend? Still?"

Louis purses his lips. Fuck. He was hoping they wouldn't talk about this. "I don't know." He mumbles, "Can we not talk about this right now? Just..." He sighs and squeezes Harry's hand, "Please. Let's just enjoy... whatever this is." Harry's silent for a moment before he scoffs. Louis looks at him when Harry drops his hand and stumbles into standing. Fuck.

"Louis, you can't just avoid it every time we bring it up."

Yes. Louis wants to say. Yes I can.

"Haz, I just don't... know. I don't-"

"Don't what? Don't want me?" Harry looks angry now. Louis wants to hug him and never let go. Louis stares up at him and finally Harry sighs. "I'm sorry." He whispers and holds out his hand. Louis takes it and stands, Harry pulls him in to a hug.