Past.

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A/N

Liam Payne without the L.

**

Harry didn't mean to say it. He'd actually settled on not saying anything and hoping it would just go away.

It was painful knowing in two weeks he would be leaving this life behind. The one he created with Louis. If Louis would have him, Harry would try for long distance. But the fact it had almost been a year and there was no labels made Harry doubt.

It was a Saturday. Late afternoon. Harry had let himself in to Louis' place, Lottie being out with friends and the younger girls at their Grandparents. His mother was working and Harry was looking forward to just spending the sunny day laying in bed with Louis. Maybe even, if Harry was being delusional, which he was, Louis might say those words Harry's been dying to hear.

"Hello there." Louis rolls onto his side, laying on top of his messy white bed sheet, his golden skin glowing like an actual God. Harry didn't belive he was real. Everytime he moved his muscles rippeled and Harry wanted to vomit rainbows and glitter because he was so in love it made him feel sick

Louis had no right to make him feel this way.

"Hey." Harry greeted, closing the door behind him and leaning on it coyly, glancing at Louis' laptop that was open. "Watcha doing?"

"Hopefully you. Soon." Harry grinned and walked over, flopping on top of Louis and hugging his back, his hands curled into fists on Louis' chest. He kisses Louis' shoulder and inhaled.

He smelt like strawberries and sweat.

Harry was in love.

"Hopefully." He mutters and eyes Louis' laptop screen. "Manchester? I though you were taking a gap year?"

"Yeah but I need to understand what they want on the application form, so I can work on it, you know? Also I want to do a course in something I just don't know what."

Harry hummed and traced his finger on Louis' shoulder blade, his fingertips dancing on the golden ocean of Louis' skin. He ran it down Louis' side and Louis froze. Harry paused, his finger in the dip of Louis' waist.

"Don't stop." Louis breathed and Harry traced it back up. Louis' muscles un tensed. Harry leaned in and kissed the back of him neck, placing his lips gently up, his hand holding Louis' side. Louis sighs contently and pushes back against Harry. Harry smiled to himself and swung his leg over Louis, clinging on to him and holding him close. Maybe if he refused to let go Louis would never leave him

Louis shut his laptop and rolled over to face Harry, his arm slithering up to run his fingers through Harry's hair. "You're so beautiful." He whispers and kisses Harry gently. Harry moans into his lips and Louis tugs his curls lightly.

They break apart eventually, Louis rubbing his finger over a fading hickey under Harry's collar. Harry watches Louis' eyes as he does it. Harry wonders if they're an entrance to the heavens. If Harry was to go to heaven that's the way he wanted to go.

"Have you applied to any university's yet?" Louis lays his head on the pillow and stares into Harry's soul. Harry swallows and looks away. He doesn't want to lie but he doesn't want this to end. He meets in the middle.

"Yeah." He mutters. Louis raises his eyebrows.

"Oh? Where?" He grins, "You're so smart you'd probably get into Oxford." Harry blushes and shrugs.

"I don't know. Around. I'm studying the arts, a vast variety," He draws invisible strings over Louis' chest and Louis follows his finger with his eyes. "Mostly writing and poetry though." Louis hums quietly and pulls Harry in by the waist.

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