CRACKED HEART

PART 3

WARNING; SELF HARM , BLOOD READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.......

I'm jolted awake by my own scream and cries and wipe the beads of sweat that have formed on my face and my dranched clothes and I sob quietly not wanting to wake Tony or he will have my head. These nightmares have refused to go away and it's eating me away I'm fading and I know sooner or later I will be lost forever. I hate the fact that I'm soo weak and I have no one to talk to

I have a small book I sometimes write in when I feel like I can't take it anymore but it not helping i just want to die
I soo tired of living like this. I pray and cry continuously, I cry for the fact that I miss my mum,I cry for the fact that I'm soo weak and cat even defeat myself from Tony and allow him abuse me daily. Its 3am yet I'm awake and I don't think I can go back to sleep so I do the only logical thing I strip naked without staring at my reflection in the mirror then I get in the shower and allow the warm water run down my back

I stay in the shower until the water becomes cold and I dry my body with a towel and put on my comfortable PJs and lie in bed. I pull a book I took from Tony and begin reading, ever since I was a kid my mum would always read me bedtime stories before I slept and growing up reading has become part of my life. A way of escaping from reality, a away of forgetting about your problems and being in a whole different world where you chose your characters and what they look like, a world where everything is possible if only you imagine it. I dream of leaving here one day and that will happen if I gather to courage to kill Tony. Yes it's part of the plan. If only I have I have the courage.

Looking out the window I see the sun rising letting me know that I will have to make breakfast for Tony. I'm happy he didn't come to my room to beat me, not that he cared of I was sore or not but I'm happy anyway I just hope he doesn't beat me anytime soon. When he's in a good mood he lets me eat and I don't get abused I hope that's what is happing now. I get off the bed and I change my clothes to something simple, puts on my sandals and head down stairs to prepare he's food. I make coffee first then made pancakes and put everything on the dinning table. Come here you slut I hear Tony shouts, I rushed quickly to find out why he was calling me.. Where were you last night he asked me, Sir what do you mean , then he slapped me

I said where the fuck where you last night you whore, I didn't go anywhere sir I was at home, then why didn't you come out when I got home? I sorry sir I apologize it won't happen again I quickly say  hmmmmm now get out of my sight, I hurriedly run to my room and sat on my bed. Crying yes that's what I've been doing my whole life crying, wishing things will get better or things will change but I'm stacked here with no one to run to or nowhere to go. I wipe my tears as I walk to the bathroom, where is it I know I put it some where.... the small blade I stole, I raise my hands and look at my wrist. There some that are healing and some are not I put the blade on my skin and cut, I don't feel pain anymore now my body is used to the pain I cut and watch as the blood spills on the floor and on the sink not that I care about it.

I want the pain, I crave the pain, my legs start to give out because I'm losing blood but I need to cut more I raise my blouse over my head and create marks all over my body I put the blade down and curl myself into a ball and cry, I didn't know how long I cried but when I got up my body was too weak and I fell back down. I crawl to the shower and sat under the water allow it to soothe the pain in my body. I leave the shower to get dressed

Sorry guys if this was a short chapter🥲,I'm trying to updates many chapters I can in a day so kindly bare with me and to all those supporting me I love you all❤️🖤

Yeah and I said I will let you know at the beginning of the chapter and hope I delivered 😌