Chapter 45

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To: Lalalalisa_97@aol.com
From: Xx_RubyJane@aol.com

Subject: [UNSENT EMAIL] no subject

I want to hate you, you know. Gaia snuck in vodka and I had some, and now I'm here, in this shitty computer lab, instead of in my nice bunk with my friends, and it's your fault, Lisa. All your fault. I just want to hate you. It'd be so much easier. Maybe you don't care. You said you wouldn't forgive me. And why would you? I'm a fucking mess. Just like Hanni said. Messy fucking Jennie. Never knows what way's up. But I did know. I did. I knew everything before you. Or I thought I did. I was sure I did. How can you be so wrong about yourself? How can you not know something so— No. You did it. I'm not. I need to hate you. It's not even wanting. I need to. I have to. If I don't ... Fuck, what do I do if I can't?

-Jennie

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