New Girl in Town

Chapter 47

"Lis, you home?" Marco calls when he gets home.

"Hey," I call, when I hear the front door open from my bedroom. "I'm getting ready for work."

Marco peeks his head in my room. "Hey. I missed you this morning. How are you doing?"

I shrug, going for honesty: "It'll be better once I get to work."

Every day that passes means we're closer and closer to Jennie's homecoming. She'll be back from camp any day and I've been so good: I've avoided her LiveJournal and all the spots her friends hang out at. I've focused on my shifts and my friends there and I've gone to family meal every time when I've worked the dinner shift.

It feels good. To work hard and then afterward, to gather and eat and laugh with everyone. To share silly jokes about repeat customers or gossip about the horror-show first date we were front-row to at table 2.

But it also feels tenuous. Like it's a bubble I'm holding in my hands and the slightest pressure will pop it.

I can't let anything pop it. I need it, this feeling. Of being welcome. Of being strong.

"I'm really glad working at Sra Bua's is going so well," Marco says, jerking me out of my thoughts. I've been brushing the same piece of my hair for too long. I hastily tuck it behind my ear.

"I love working there," I say. More honesty. At this rate, I'm going to be fully truthful with him. It's weird to imagine, but I guess that's where we're at now. Huh.

"My shift's only four hours. Do you want me to bring home food?" I ask.

"As long as I get to choose the music as we eat."

"Fine," I say, like it's some great imposition. More truth? I've kind of liked the last two albums he's played for me. I know, I was surprised, too.

"I got this for you," he says, pulling out a booklet from his back pocket and handing it to me. It's a driver's manual. "So you can take your test to get your learner's permit."

"Thanks," I say. "I'm not sure I'll be able to save up enough from Sra Bua's to buy a car, though."

"Let's focus on getting your permit first," he says. "Myra can help us find something safe for you when the time comes."

"Handy to be friends with a mechanic," I say, checking the time on my phone. "Crap. I really gotta go. You want your regular order?"

"With extra edamame. Here's the money for dinner."

I take it from him. "See you later."

It's about twenty minutes by bike to the restaurant, and I go hard for the last mile, so I still make it there ten minutes before my shift starts. I splash water on my face in the break room while Taeyang ties his apron around his waist and tosses me one. I wrap the ties around my waist, adding half a dozen pens to the pocket. Hostessing requires writing just as much stuff down as the servers, and the servers are always trying to borrow my pens. By the end of the night, I'll be lucky if I have two pens left.

I apply lip gloss in the mirror, staring at myself.

There's something about restaurant clothes that make me feel grown up. Maybe it's because most of the black clothes I own are winter clothes, so I've been wearing a skirt and V-neck sweater most days. I need to buy some more black clothes. Maybe I should take Irene up on her employee-discount offer. The thought hits me and I wince, the lip-gloss wand halfway to my lips.

"What's that look?" Taeyang asks.

"Just thinking about stuff earlier this summer."

"Oh?"