Please Don't Leave Me (Winchesters X Reader)

chapter 30: the things I live for

Dean's POV:

I turned the volume down a little as I watched (Y/N) doze off in the back. She was so tired when I woke her up this morning. I looked over at Sam who was also asleep, against the window. I sighed to myself; the car is too quiet. I hummed along with the song playing and tapped my fingers against the steering wheel. This was too boring. I was used to arguing or listening to conversations, or even just listening to music at a loud volume. This was what lonely felt like.

Or was it peace? But how could I be at peace when thoughts are consuming my mind. I'm worried about (Y/N)'s sleep schedule...I mean, I get she's a hunter, but... I just want everything to be perfect for her. I even thought of buying a ring, to make things more permanent. But that scares the hell out of me too. What if she's not ready? What if she's scared of me still? I mean, I'm still a demon. And something tells me I'm going to be one for a long time. What if this thing kills me... damn, it could kill her and Sam.

I love them both way too much... I would never let myself do that. Or... I guess once the demon takes hold, it won't be me anymore. I hate that feeling of being physically controlled, which leads to why I'm not necessarily submissive or kinky. I mean, I hate being tied up, because of the memories I have of being tied up. I hate not being able to speak, because I guess I'm kind of a baby. I'm sensitive, but I can't be. Because I have to be a man for (Y/N).

I have to be strong for her...which is why I've been holding this all in for days now, hoping maybe all this shit will come to an end. And I only have seven things, I am completely positive of because I have nothing else to rely on anymore. These things are the things I live for. The reason I wake up.

1: The smile on (Y/N)'s face after each and every kiss.

2: Sam, my little brother, and his dorky attitude and snarky-however annoying-comments.

3: My love and need to marry this beautiful woman.

4: Saving people and hunting things, because no one else will.

5: Sweet, sweet pie.

6: beer.

7: And my beautiful chevy impala-my baby-that holds memories from my whole life. I mean, who else would take care of her?

Here I am, thinking all this sappy shit. Here I also am, the one who hates the feel good moments in movies and continues avoiding most of them in real life. But... I guess that's what love does to a man. What can I say? I'm in love. "Dude, you good?" Sam's voice broke me from my thoughts. "Yeah... peachy." I replied, glancing over at him. He looked tired still... but I guess he always did after sleeping in the car.

Sam's POV:

I saw Dean continue his intense stare at the road ahead, I guess it was more of a brood. But that's not the point...something was bothering him. "C'mon man...seriously." I let out a puff of air, sitting up in my seat. "I'm fine, Sam. How many times do I have to tell you?"

he snapped, sighing. "You're such a liar, you know that?" I heard (Y/N)'s voice come from the back. "Oh...you're awake..." Dean's voice softened. How long had she been awake?

I kind of wish she still was asleep...I mean, I love her as a sister, but I wanted to know what was wrong with Dean. What if it was his demon? Is he as scared as I am? I sighed, keeping quiet. "Look... you guys, I'm perfectly fine." Dean said in a tired voice. He was tired...and probably grumpy. We'd talk about this later. Maybe if I could drive, I would be distracted from all of this. "Dean, wanna pull over? I should drive." I said, looking ahead for the exit. "Sam, I'm fine." He said, and I glanced back at (Y/N).

She looked like she needed some company...or just Dean. "C'mon man..." I lowered my voice to a hush whisper. "I want to drive, plus, your girlfriend is lonely back there." He glanced back at her, with a sigh. "Fine..." he grumbled, "But only because she needs me..." He turned into the exit, parking at a gas station.

Dean got out, grabbing some cash. "I'm getting pie..." he said, walking toward the entrance of the small little store part of the gas station. I got out, walking to the gas pump, and filling the gas tank. I watched the numbers go up and glanced at (Y/N) in the backseat, fiddling with a thread on her bag. I sighed, tapping my fingers on the side of the car.

By the time the tank was full, Dean walked out holding a small mini pie, he would no doubt keep to himself. It was one thing to get one small piece of Dean's normal sized pie, but impossible to get even the smallest bite of his small mini pie. I got back in the front seat as Dean climbed in the backseat. A smile instantly sprung to (Y/N)'s face as he got in. "Hey..." she smiled, scooting closer to him as he hooked an arm around her. I smiled at how happy of a couple they looked, starting the car. I pulled out of the parking lot, pulling out onto the street.

I saw Dean open the package through the rear view mirror, his eyes widened, and his face lit up. I chuckled, seeing (Y/N) eyeing the pie. I shook my head, "(Y/N), he won't share. I would know." I grinned, seeing her sassy expression. "Dean..." She said, putting her hand on his left hand which had the disposable fork in it.

He looked over at her, "Yeah?" he answered. "So... you gonna share that?" she asked, which actually sounded more like a statement. "C'mon, (Y/N). I love pie... you can't just take a man's pie." Dean sounded like he was begging, which made me almost bust out laughing. But I didn't. "But...you love me too..." she pouted at him, and he groaned defeatedly. "Fine... but only a bite." He said, handing her a forkful of pie. He must really love her...he would never share his pie.

Especially since it came in such a small portion. She took the bite, but then took another...then another. Dean mouth hung agape, "You're really that hungry?" he asked, and I couldn't believe my eyes or ears. Was he about to give her his pie? What was going on...where did Dean go?

I kept glancing into the rearview mirror and back at the road. She nodded, putting the fork back. "But it's fine... I'll get something when we get back to the bunker..." she said, putting her hands in her lap. "No sweetheart, here." He said, putting a fork of pie in her mouth. She smiled, gladly excepting it.

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There was no more talking ever since Dean fed (Y/N) all his pie. They had fallen asleep, Dean's arm around her and her cuddled up into his side. It was sweet, seeing Dean look so happy. I smiled, looking ahead at the highway. The sun was setting...it was getting late. I still had 19 hours of driving left. I could make it, due to the multiple cases me and Dean have spent endless nights working on without sleep.