Munachi

|Chapter 7|

Nate drives the car by instinct. He looks deep in thought most of the time. I, on the other hand, is as reticent as ever. All through the ride home I thought about what Ma had said to me. I try to put myself in her position, to see the situation through her eyes. But I find it difficult to forgive Ma for calumniating me even though her anxiety might be justified. I want to ask Nate some questions, especially what Ma must've told him privately, but when I see how he sits behind the steering wheel distraught with grief, I decide to wait until we get home.

We arrive home just before dusk. Nate, looking tired and moody, says he doesn't want any dinner and goes straight to bed. And I, is too bemused by the events of the day to even think about food. I sit alone in the living room long after Nate has gone to bed, while multitudes of emotions churnes my mind. At midnight, I eventually go to bed.

The morning hours crawls. Doris, having finished her morning chores, left for market. The silence in the house is almost unbearable. I stay awake till lunch time and after eating I go to bed again for I've decided to have as much rest as I can.

When I wake up from my siesta, it's already five o'clock in the evening. I take a shower, change into something comfortable and walk into the living room.

“Doris!” I call out.

“Yes, Mistress,” Doris answers as she comes into the living room. Her hands are soaking wet from washing the dishes.

“I'm heading out. Lock the front door as soon as I leave. And make sure to prepare fried rice for supper. Use some of the cooked beef in the refrigerator.”

“Yes, Mistress.”

“I'm going to see my friend, Caroline. I'll be back before supper.”

I get into my car and drive out of the premises. A few minutes' drive brings me to Caroline's home. Now, we're sitting outside on the front porch sipping our apple juice.

“What!” Caroline exclaims, eyes wide. “She said all that to you?” 

I nod, taking another sip of my chill drink.

“And you didn't shut her up? Muna, you're too good-natured and modest for my liking.”

“Caroline, she's my mother-in-law. I can't talk back at her.”

“Well she's so lucky that I'm not her daughter-in-law. I'd have shown her what I'm actually made of. I mean seriously, it isn't your fault that you don't have a child yet. And how dare she call you a barren. A child comes from God. And your medical reports states that you're completely okay. Which means you just have to wait for God's perfect time.”

“To be honest, Caroline, I'm loosing hope. I don't think I'll ever have a child.”

“Please don't say that. You can't and you mustn't loose faith. You're not the first woman to be in a marriage without a child. I'm so certain that one day you'll have a child to call your own. How's Nate? How's he holding up?”

“I'm afraid, Caroline,” I say, setting my empty glass onto the small table in the center of us.

“What is it you're afraid of?”

“What if Nate decides to . . . you know . . . marry someone else?”

Caroline roars with laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” I ask.

“Do you think Nate would actually marry someone else? Muna, that man loves you. And I don't think he'd ever do anything to hurt you. Trust me.”

“Okay, maybe he wouldn't think of that. But what about his parents. His mother particularly.”

“Muna, you worry too much. I've told you worrying doesn't help the situation. Keep having that faith.”

♣♣♣

I sleep very badly, waking up intermittently and sleeping off again after some minutes of wakefulness. At about six in the morning, the cause of my discomfort manifests itself. I see a beautiful bonny boy being hand over to me from the skies. I can't see the person in particular, but the pair of hands presents me the baby. Then my eyes are open, fully awake. I become sad discovering that the whole thing is just a dream.

For days after having this dream, I'd imagined myself sitting in front of Dr. Mark and telling him with broad smiles that I've started a baby. For days I'd imagined Nate's joy on being told he would become a father after all. Now all these hopes are dashed as the slight pain in my back continue to remind me. Crestfallen, I confine myself to my bedroom and give instructions to Doris that I wouldn't see anyone.

Eight months has passed since I paid my first visit to Dr. Mark's clinic and yet there is no change in me. As the months come and go in quick succession, I become more and more despondent.
Nate is aware of my despondency. He, as well, is feeling crestfallen. His hopes had risen with mine when we were first informed of Dr. Mark and his expertise. Now, to both of us, Dr. Mark is gradually joining the host of those doctors who could do nothing for us.

“I can't seem to know what the problem is or from where it's coming from,” Dr. Mark says. “But there is another way. Only if you're willing to do it.”

“What is it, doctor?” I ask.

“What I'm going to suggest to you may sound atrocious to you, Mrs. Munachi, but I'm making the suggestion out of love-not the kind of love we all talk about-I don't really know how to put it so you'll understand me.”

“Please, go on. I’ll understand,” I say.

Dr. Mark shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “You promise not to take this the wrong way?”

I nod.

Dr. Mark continues. He's becoming a bit incoherent. “Since you and your husband appear to be okay with nothing wrong. I figured if you can try, you know, sleeping with me or maybe someone else to discover more about—”

“Hold on, doctor,” I interrupt him. “Sleep with you. Do you mean like have sex with you?”

He shrug before giving me a nod. “Look, Mrs. Munachi, I think this is the only way I can—”

“Damn you!” I rise up. “To hell with you!” Then I stalk out of the office.